I never want my love to take away,
Your happiness is everything and more.
I want to treat you right in every way,
The little things you love I shall adore.
I'll never try to keep you from your friends
Nor tell you how you ought to live your life;
Such jealousy is not what love portends,
I want to make a friend not own a wife.
I offer you no selfish fits of rage,
I want to see you smile and never cry.
The story that I'd write upon each page
Is simple happiness for you and I.
A perfect love would always set you free,
To be the person you were meant to be.
A contest entry
- Love? by isabellacohen.
550 points, ended December 29, 2008, 24 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me honestly what you think, good or bad.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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loved the intention
a beautiful intention,
true love indeed!
i like your take on the prompt,
it was a pleasure to read, thank's for entering,
best wishes,
Isabella -
Jeff this is perfect!!!!
how true are these words, well done and a winner of truth in my book! Well said.
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Jeffers you are the only person I know who can make any sort of sense of this love thing. Absolutely bang on with the closing couplet. That is perfection.
xxx Jem
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Well, it's totally green. Lines 1 and 2 confused me a little, because it took me a moment to realise that you weren't saying "I never want my love to take away your happiness". The danger of not punctuating. OK though.
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You have melted my heart once again, Jeff. Wonderful poem.
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