"Growing Monster"

The baby growing in you
Is a miracle from God,
But it's an inconvenience to you
So you're going to kill it

You can't be bothered
To deal with adoption papers,
And "You could never give up your future
Just to raise the thing growing in your belly"

The little being inside of you
Could grow to be a person-
If you'd let it,
But you don't want to

You want to play God,
To decide whether an infant
Gets the joy of living-
Or if it will die, before it's even born

You're thinking only of yourself,
You're committing murder
You're committing treason-
Against God

Murder is illegal,
According to the law
But apparently the law only applies
To those who can fend for themselves

Helpless babies, still growing in a womb
Have no rights at all
All the rights are given
To unstable, sometimes incompetent and selfish women

You justify becoming a murderer
By saying you're too young
(So, you're old enough to have sex,
But not old enough to pay the price?)

You justify killing a baby
By saying you couldn't be a single parent,
Adoption is difficult,
And foster care is horrible

(Sure, murder is better
Than single parenthood,
Adoption, or foster care-
Why didn't I know that?)

I pray for you
For your forgiveness
And I mourn the life that will never be
(Since I know you aren't going to)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I let them all think
My exboyfriend is the father
Of the little creature
Growing within me

I couldn't admit the truth,
It hurts too much to think about
I certainly could never utter aloud
What really happened.....

If anyone does the math
They'll realize I got pregnant
A few months after I broke up with Shane,
And he isn't the father

If anyone recalls the night
Of that wretched party,
The one I tried a roofie at
And woke up naked, next to a college guy at

My head hurt so badly,
I could feel my heart pulsing in my temple
My whole body ached,
And there was blood on the sheets

He rolled over,
Lazily smiled at me
And suddenly memories
From the night before hit me

I willingly went back there with him,
But the sex wasn't consensual,
I didn't even know his name-
But he had no problem raping me

I had no case at all-
I was on drugs,
It was at a party,
And I was too ashamed to tell anyone

......But now I'm pregnant with his child
And my best friend hates me
Because I don't want to have the baby
That my rapist impregnated me with

She thinks the baby is Shane's...
If I told her the truth she'd cry,
She'd hold me, she'd help me,
But I just can't do that

I'd rather let her think I'm a horrible person
For aborting a baby that belonged to my ex,
Than to have her know I tried dangerous drugs,
And put myself in the situation where I was raped

I just can't have the baby
No matter how many people
Are going to hate me for this
It's like a monster growing in me-I can't let it out

It's not a real thing yet,
I'm just ending something
Before it can begin
I'm saving myself the pain.....

I'm a selfish, horrible person
And I don't care
A few years from now I'll probably hate myself,
But right now I hate this thing inside me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~