I wish it could be Crapmas everyday
with the overeating, drinking binging times
Throwing up the rum, piling on the pounds
having so much bloody fun
Isn't ancient uncle Arthur sweet
with his mouth wide open, tonsils showing
Snoring like a train; gawd I love that git
with his big damn smelly feet
Getting all the presents of my dreams
Jigsaw, pickling jar and scarf
Can't contain my joy at daft earrings
as worn by Dame Edna's cat
God bless you each and every damn one
with your sincere seasonal greetings
and quality well chosen cards
designed by a poodle
The homeless are happy to know
that you're safe and well fed and dead drunk
They hope you enjoy it a lot
as they rummage through your bins
Author notes
Happy Anti-Christmas everyone! Ho ho doh
A contest entry
- ANTI XMAS CONTEST By Ravenblood&ITNC by Girl With Guitar.
700 points, ended January 7, 2009, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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You made me smile!
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:))
This is written with such good humor-you have given Xmas family getogathers a hilarious blend-the presents- the various relatives-all have been given a very funny ,pleasant tone- I have loved reading this piece especially at this time of the year Have a lovely Xmas and a brilliant new year:
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Lol nicely written, I love a sarcastic poem.
Some random imagery, and I have a few older family members like that. Bit of drool hanging off one side of their lip gives an excellent touch to the luncheon. Ewww.
Thank you for the entry and best of luck. lol -
Well. Er. Hmmm. I must say, this is well-written, great vivid descriptions, smooth flow, excellent ironic (sarcastic?) final stanza that captures the sentiment of the poem perfectly. But, um, (whispering now) I still want a little bit of Christmas...
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Ohhh. Nice poem, very well written.
Thanks for entering the contest and good luck,
Raven -
Wow Wow my friend. This is amazing. Just perfect. It better win Gold or I will put the contest holder in my trash can. LOL
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