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what?

....moving on?

can't figure it out
  the blurred chalk outlines that are the other people in our lives keep getting in the way.

stop the music, pause the film, put down the pen

fizzling out
not ending in fireworks, as I thought

but nonetheless...

spring becomes fall becomes winter
and black hair turns to red,
  and brown eyes to green

Author notes



this is complicated.

A contest entry

I hope criticism (that good old "constructive" kind) is forthcoming

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Grunts Girl silver member
    January 6
    Edit | Reply
    enjoyed the wording of the seasons


  • Nakatrea
    January 2
    Edit | Reply
    Good..confusing...but good. I agree with hawkeslake it is thought provoking. If i were to make a suggestion it would be to put " keep getting in the way" on a separate line than the chalky blur people line. just a suggestion though. Its not imperative that you do so though. Keep it up

    ♥♥♥Kat


  • reckless abandon
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting, I was kept thinking the entire time and I really liked reading this. Thanks for sharing


  • hawkeslake gold member
    December 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An interesting poem, thought-provoking, with lines like blurres chalk outlines that are the other people in our lives" which is an insightful comment on how we often relate to people... nicely done.


  • infectedxheart
    December 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful (:


    love youz & your poems (L)


  • samantha jean
    December 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this last stanza. Beautiful job


  • hotchocolate gold member
    December 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Your right this is conplicated but I liked this!

1 - 8 of 8