Slowly She dies
Her green and brown speckled skin
Wasting away beneath concrete corruption
Trampled by the virus that is humanity
Silently She cries
In the voice of a million creatures
Hunted to extinction
By endless expanding selfishness
Quietly She suffocates
As our technology destroys
Her one source of breath
Burning it from the skies of Her life
Slowly She dies
Our blindness to Her suffering
Causing Her to slowly whither
Until She simply...is no more
Author notes
Option 2
Quote:
" This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper. "
-From "The Hollow Men" by T. S. Eliot
28)Qwatsinas (Hereditary Chief Edward Moody), Nuxalk Nation
"We must protect the forests for our children, grandchildren and children yet to be born. We must protect the forests for those who can't speak for themselves such as the birds, animals, fish and trees."
A contest entry
- Soul Killers and Salt Pillars by Loki.
1650 points, ended January 3, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 31 Quote Promts to Choose From - Please Make Yourself Heard by Shantti.
1100 points, ended January 20, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Be honest.. you wont hurt my feelings...
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Awe, this is beautiful and sad.
It goes perfect with those prompts.
Thank you for your entry.
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Personification of the Earth is always a powerful trick in writing. You got brownie points for listening to Bean Sidhe's comment and adjusting your poem accordingly. Many times I see that I will recommend a spelling change to someone and instead of listening, they will get defensive and hostile about it. We all make simple spelling errors. Spellcheck is one of my best friends and I would misspell every 8th word without it.
A powerful write from a powerful poet. Thank you for entering and best of luck.
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Thank you for the kind comments! Constructive critism is always welcome and I try to listen and make changes when needed.
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good as always i seem to easily find
also as always
your words are creative and play a interest in my mind
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The first comment I have is that beneath is misspelled in the very first stanza! The next thing I noticed is that the odd capitalization is a little distracting. I know it is an accepted routine in poetry to formally capitalize the beginning word of each line but I noticed that you have also capitalized she in each stanza as well. I wonder if
you were personifying Mother Earth? If so, it should be consistent throughout the work, which, currently, it's not.
In any case, thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest
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spellcheck didn't catch that, lol. And that was the point of the capitalization of she... I fixed the rest.
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