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Quarter Spanish White

 

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

 

 

I almost forgot the sound of her voice

the way it soothed my fears like warm milk lulls a tired head

 

She sliced through layers of fat back,

each word sizzled as it dropped,

"The Lord only gives you what you can handle"

 

I came back when she was sick and laid with her like I did as a child

comparing porcelain with chestnuts

 

I take her hand and realize the thick fingers, I used to hide,

are identical to hers, and this makes me smile

 

 

 

 

 

Through the disconsolate air,  her last words fall silently

"Our father, who art in heaven..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Author notes

another poem about the death of my grandmother.

A contest entry

Im still revising this piece. Constructive criticism is welcome

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Terry Collett
    March 7, 2009
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    Moving poem.

    delicately worded poem, Fine work.

  • A Prophet of 3 gold member
    February 19, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    milk lulled a tired head ... change lulled to lulls "like mike lulls a tired head" ... reads better

    this is good


  • storiesuntold
    January 10, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    Oh what a write this is

    Gold trophy indeed this read has touched my heart deeply


  • Ithica silver member
    January 9, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    "The Lord only gives you what you can handle" I can't tell you how much torment these words have caused me too... especially when contrasted against karma! This is a treasure trove of emotion and a wonderful legacy to familial bonds.


  • echo-ink
    January 6, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    This was beautiful, and heartfelt.
    A wonderful read that touches the core of the heart.


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    January 2, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    A curious thoughtful journey of the tenderr words here brings the meaning around..and makes this write a very strong piece..well done...

  • mcheadle
    January 1, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    One must learn

    to make the best of what you have and be true to who you are. There are always fools trying to cut one down- silly they think this builds them up...mac


  • Greenhorn
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well deserved gold trophy! Amazing take on the prompt that I'd never be able to write anything on, and great. Whenever I try writing something short it ends up kind of horrible... very powerful and heartfelt. Stunning.


  • Harrisham Minhas gold member
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww...this is beautiful.
    Congrats on the Gold!


  • The Fun House gold member
    December 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This piece really touches the heart and soul. I think you did a phenomenal job in few lines. It really captured the emotions. I'm sure that your Grandmother would be proud of this. I know it could not have been easy at all and I can relate. Take a bow, you deserve it. I would not touch this except for a couple typos. In the 6th line "layed" should be "laid" and the 7th line "porclian" should be "porcelain". But I knew what you meant

1 - 11 of 11