A firebrand came a-knocking once
upon my oaken door;
I asked the firebrand nicely-like
to leave, and knock no more.
The firebrand then took umbrage and
began to be quite rude;
I asked again, most pretty-please,
to circumvent a feud.
The firebrand's face turned purpled-blue,
his veins stood out like cord
(when firebrands get their danders up
they hate to be ignored).
I shrugged my shoulders in dismay
and grappled for a way
that might diffuse this standoff
on my doorstep that fine day.
The firebrand shook his fist at me and
seemed about to go,
when suddenly he spun around
and set my porch aglow!
I ran to grab a bucket filled with
water to the brim,
then sloshed it over everything ~
and that included him.
I've never seen a firebrand move
as quick as he did then ~
he blazed a squelchy trail elsewhere,
and not been seen again.
A contest entry
- Verse Poetry - Form or Metered by Corey Harvard.
500 points, ended December 27, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
My only critique here would be the appearance of the word "firebrand" as the second word of a sentence, five times in 17 lines...
Maybe a synonym two times might have sounded better?
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Ahh, the classic Emily-Dickinson, ABCB, tetrameter/trimeter form. And hey, a little light verse is always nice! I think this is the first humorous poem I've seen in this contest... or maybe I just have a poor memory.
Light verse always runs the risk of being dismissed as casual or unintelligent, but if you've read anything by Ogden Nash you know that the world needs a little more of it, so I'm not going to complain about the whimsical mood, if for no other reason than falling into an unfair stereotype. (that was an insanely long sentence, no?)
Style is hard to critique here. Put next to most of the other poems in the contest, I'd say that the language isn't all too impressive. This, however, is only due to the fact that this isn't intended to be a quaint or elegant poem. For what it is, I have little complaint.
The form doesn't have any wounds. Instead of nit-picking, I'm going to give you a clean pass here.
Thank you for the submission! It's a refreshing treat for the judge.
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