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Crushed Ice

Lying in my chest
Like a cold compress
My once-heart
Is frozen from hurt
And crushed by betrayal
Crushed ice to be served
To the next customer.

A contest entry

what do you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Kathraina silver member
    February 1
    Edit | Reply

    Judged-ola!

    true to life sometimes. sad and powerful piece.


  • frozenblackpetals
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    nice, totally realistic, and down to the point. a great effect for so few words, way powerful. thank u so much for entering!


  • Akarian silver member
    January 16
    Edit | Reply
    Mmm, so true. Such simple wording showing a very true reality.