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When It Is Time

You fought your battle

It was time to go

Sometimes we prayed

It would be fast

Other times we wanted

The time to slow

~ 

I will make the call

When it is time

I’m just not ready

For them you know

I just need this

Our one last time

~ 

I will lay here close

Right by your side

I will hold your hand

Put it to my cheek

I have shed my tears

The tears have dried

~ 

I remember your smile

And it’s warm glow

You’re getting cold dear

I will cuddle up close

The color in your cheeks

Is fading so slow

~ 

I will pull the blankets

Way up high

I know you are in

Your eternal rest

I was to be first

But here you lie

~ 

I will lay here

With you in my arms

My head on your chest

While you rest

This one last time

There is no harm

~ 

I will love you dear

Forever and all time

I will put your arm

Around me dear

I will make the call

When it is time

 

Author notes

By ~ Maxboy
Background By ~ Poet Muse

INSPIRATION 

An event so many loved ones are faced with, of letting go,

at the moment their loving mate has just passed away.

 

Gold(2), Bronze(3)

In a list

A contest entry

~PLEASE COMMENT~

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 99 of 208     1 2 3  next >  (show all)

  • Shantti
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful and emotional. Excellent imagery and flow. I love the background you chose for this piece, it really helps with the dramatic affece of your poem.
    Very beautiful piece
    Thank you for entering


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    August 1
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    I enjoyed this read
    I loved the background
    Congrats on the trophys as well
    Hugs
    Your lil sis
    Susan~~~

  • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    this was amazing! i loved reading this! it was beautiful! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!


    • Maxboy gold member
      July 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your beautiful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • nobodys-girl
    July 1
    Edit | Reply
    ah i just loved this! it was just so beautiful! thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!


  • ChunkyC
    June 14

    Edit | Reply
    For starters. Great background. I love it. And for the poem. Wonderful. It was beautiful. I could see it as if it was a movie going on in my head. Excellent job here.

    Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest :]


    • Maxboy gold member
      June 19
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • Hannah Carr
    June 10
    Edit | Reply
    Sweet...oh and I LOVE ur background. Thanks for entering great write


    • Maxboy gold member
      June 10
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • DesolatELifE
    June 4

    Edit | Reply
    The background goes quite well with how the poem could make someone feel. Good choice. Thanks again.


    • Maxboy gold member
      June 18
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for the applause and your comment, I am happy you liked my entry.



  • trekkergirl
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent background. I love the moon over the wather. Great job! I also love the poem... so full of sorrow, feelings of loss, all kinds of emotions just wrapped up inside. Great write. I like this one. Thanks for sharing this with us.

    • Maxboy gold member
      May 20
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so very much for the Bronze Trophy and your wonderful comment, but most of all, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.

      Thank You Again


  • PowerGall88
    May 9
    Edit | Reply

    I know All Too Well Your Hell

    We all will experience death one day including our own. I don't know about you but why does death not feel natural?  If death is a natural part of the life cycle then why does it feel so surreal and foreign to me.  Someone i loved just died and there is nothing 'natural' about it.  I don't have the internal knowledge and feelings that death is just a part of life.  I feel that death is wrong and unatural.  Death brings sadness, despair, anger, hate and more death.  Human beings are mere mortals, death is to much of a burden to carry with us.  Not just watching those we love die around us but having to come to terms with our own mortality.  I beleive it's wrong.  We are not these immortal superbeings, we are just humans and death is to much to bare. If i were asked before i was born would i rather stay a spirit or live your life as a human and die, i would say NO.

    • Maxboy gold member
      May 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your very honest and open comment. I believe we become attached to life and love it so much, we have a hard time dealing with knowing it will end. We are addicted to the drug of life, it is completely out of our control and is hard for us to accept that. We can only try to find peace with it, each in our own way.

      Thank you again friend, I hope you can find your peace with it.

      • PowerGall88
        May 12

        Edit | Reply
        I wanted to tell u that your decription of why i am afraid of death "We ar addicted to the drug of life", that is exactly what it is! I have not heard that before, until now. The only peace i have about it is that i KNOW i will see and be with my father and Nikita again. That's the1% of dying that i have peace with, that's it. Thank you for helping me understand myself and dealing wth death better.


  • spiritraven
    May 6
    Edit | Reply

    Very well done

    So much emotion and so much heartache. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck


    • Maxboy gold member
      May 20
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for the applause and your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • Cyanide Dreams
    May 4

    Edit | Reply

    92

    Title: 9/10
    Originality: 10/10
    Emotion: 10/10
    Grammar/Spelling: 9/10
    Flow/Structure: 9/10
    Imagery: 9/10
    Overall Use of Poetic Devices: 8/10
    Reaction: 10/10
    Rules: 10/10
    Overall: 8/10
    Totaling: 92/100

    Aww, here come the water works. This was really inspiring. Very very clear emotions in this. And it made me think of my bestie who died in a car wreck. Wow-o. This brings back so many happy and sad memories. This was great. I liked the flow of this piece and I like where you took this. The background though, I'm not really feeling it with the poem, even if it is a very beautiful background. Great job on this and good luck in the contest.

    Josh


    • Maxboy gold member
      May 13
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • FluorescentFixation
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    This was so emotional. I know what it feels like to lose someone so very close to me. But I guess everyone does in a way.

    My favorite lines were:

    "Other times we wanted
    The time to slow"

    The one issue I had while reading this was the repetition of certain words. I think if you reread this with that in mind you might see how that would dampen the affect the poem has. After reading certain words a few times over, the lines started to blur together a bit.

    But saying that, the flow was great and it was so filled with emotion. Great write and good luck in the contest!


    • Maxboy gold member
      May 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderfil comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.


  • abmsem
    April 27
    Edit | Reply
    This was so sad, but lovely at the same time. Thank you for entering and good luck


    • Maxboy gold member
      April 27
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • Minstrel-Morose
    April 27
    Edit | Reply
    its so sad...yall are making me cry


    • Maxboy gold member
      April 27
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • Snap.Crackle.Pop
    April 21

    Edit | Reply
    I liked it;
    but it just
    didn't seem to fit my thoughts
    for the prompt on my contest.
    Thanks for entering.


    • Maxboy gold member
      April 24
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your comment, I am glad you liked my write.



  • MemeMassacre
    April 19

    Edit | Reply
    WOW I LOVE IT it is so emotional so real it reminds me of before my mom got her heart transplant i had overheard the doctors saying she only had two weeks


    • Maxboy gold member
      April 20
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for the applause and your wonderful comment, I am very pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    April 19

    Edit | Reply
    Very well wrote,
    And just a very awesome poem at that. I really enjoyed reading every single word. (: thanks for entering!


    • Maxboy gold member
      April 22
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for the beautiful comment, I am happy you liked my write.



  • Babesface
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    So sad. You've captured the emotion perfectly... How you don't want to let go, and you'll hold on for as long as you can. It's great and full of emotion.
    Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest


    • Maxboy gold member
      April 20
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • Ami
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    I Liked the ending alot
    "I will love you dear
    Forever and all time
    I will put your arm
    Around me dear
    I will make the call
    When it is time"

    Great write and
    Thank You for entering
    Good luck


    • Maxboy gold member
      April 8
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your comment, I am glad you liked my write.



  • SoundsOfSilence
    April 5
    Edit | Reply
    Awe...very touching write...


  • Kathraina silver member
    April 4

    Edit | Reply
    Aww this is so incredibly heart wrenching!
    Lovely piece, very deep emotion here.
    bravo!


    ♥ Kate


    • Maxboy gold member
      April 18
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for the applause and your warm comment, I am very pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • MichaelSavage gold member
    March 29
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent and very emotionally packed and powerful. Thank you and good luck.
    Michael

    • Maxboy gold member
      March 29
      Edit | Reply

      !!! WOW !!!

      Thank you so much for the Gold Trophy, but most of all, I am very pleased my write touched you as it was intended.

      Thank You Again
      Don


    • Maxboy gold member
      March 29
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment and applause, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • Flowergirl
    March 28
    Edit | Reply
    very nice i love it thank you for entring keep up the great work....


    • Maxboy gold member
      March 28
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • Captain Jenny
    March 27

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... This is amazing. Stunning... Thanks for entering

    ~Lae


    • Maxboy gold member
      April 1
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • sophia moonfairy
    March 26

    Edit | Reply
    Awe this is really beautiful, yet It filled with sadness as well. I can relate very well to this. I have lost a love one before it's very painful to go through. this piece made me want to cry. It was so touching and heartfelt. I enjoyed reading this. great job and good luck in the contest. sorry for your lost if this was a true event.

    Thanks for entering and good luck

    - Maria ♥


    • Maxboy gold member
      March 28
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your wonderful comment and applause, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • purplemoon
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    Love it.....I know exatly how to relate to this poem. I've been through it far to many times. I understand your position. You get a thumbs up. Bravo and Well Done.

    Thanks for entering
    Kathryn


    • Maxboy gold member
      May 29
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • perfectsunset gold member
    March 24

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, how deeply this poem made me ache.
    Such raw emotion & so heartfelt.
    Made me want to cry,
    as it reminded me of loved ones
    passed.

    This was truly beautifully written.
    Amazing piece.

    Thanks for entering & best of luck


    • Maxboy gold member
      March 24
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • AllThatRemains
    March 15

    Edit | Reply
    That's really... yeah. Thank you for writing this; although I haven't gone through such an experience, this made it very real and all the emotions make absolute sense. Well done.
    Thank you for entering!


    • Maxboy gold member
      March 31
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your beautiful comment, I am very happy you enjoyed my write.



  • Antebellum
    March 14
    Edit | Reply
    I loved this.
    its VERY retalible.


  • broken-colours
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    I remember reading this one before, I think.
    very simplistic, sweet, and melancholy.
    lovely poem.
    thank you for sharing this with me.
    <3


    • Maxboy gold member
      March 14
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • Night Terrors
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good. I like it a lot!

    The Posivitves:

    Great flow a really nice rythme. Sounded good read out loud.

    The Negatives:

    Nothing really great job.

    My favorite part:

    I will pull the blankets

    Way up high

    I know where you are

    Is eternal rest

    I was to be first

    You were not to die

    This was a really great poem. Thanks for entering.


    • Maxboy gold member
      March 11
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • BrokenHeartsInVain
    March 8

    Edit | Reply
    It's great, however, I don't see what option it's in. Also, you might want to consider some more vivid imagery, and editing a few parts of the poem that don't flow as well.
    Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.


    • Maxboy gold member
      March 8
      Edit | Reply
      The option is at the bottom of the AN, thank you.


  • xVamPirexMusiCx
    March 8
    Edit | Reply
    This is so.. Perfect! I love it. Good luck


    • Maxboy gold member
      March 15
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you liked my write.



  • lindaburns gold member
    March 1

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the Gold and Bronze Trophies! Looks like you have yourself a winner here. This is a macabre, sad story about getting ready to let go. I’ve been widowed twice and I made my husband promise he would die first before I would agree to marry him. So I DO know where the emotion come from on this one. Good write.

    • Maxboy gold member
      March 3
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment and applause, sorry to hear you can relate to my poem so well, but I am pleased you enjoyed the read.



  • DinkyDiver gold member
    February 23
    Edit | Reply
    truly beautiful write here and loving the background x goodluck


    • Maxboy gold member
      February 23
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment and applause, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • Walking Oxymoron gold member
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    I liked the rhyme scheme you used, unconventional, made the poem interesting to read.

    I will make the call
    When it is time
    I’m just not ready
    For them you know
    I just need this
    Our one last time

    that was really, truly, very sad...

    Thne the twist on that for the last stanza...

    Oh, I felt the love emanate form the page, and it worked for me... imagining that... it would hurt.

    • Maxboy gold member
      February 23
      Edit | Reply

      !!! WOW !!!

      Thank you so much for the Gold Trophy and your beautiful comment, but most of all, I am very pleased you enjoyed my write so much.

      Thanks Again


  • Pretty Disaster
    February 18

    Edit | Reply
    Very well written, the concept is beautifully tragic. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
    --Pretty Disaster


    • Maxboy gold member
      February 18
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.


  • poets whisper silver member
    February 16
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for entering


  • The.poet.of.hearts
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    It seemd okay, but who was the speaker? and who was the listener?
    and where was the characters?
    you wrote, pretty nice, but in the age 51, words should be more deeper and metaphoric
    Likeness, Age comparison, words,Beauty, Ideas, Thoughts,Title, level of poetry
    these all contains 100 marks, and i will mark out of hundred to let you win
    thanks for prasing the idea of contest
    and you have scored 65
    by
    the poet of hearts and beautiful words


  • tears.of.silence
    February 9

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    this is so sad, i really liked the poem.. It reminds me of something I said to the man I loved.. I rather have pain than never be with you at all. This is a wonderful poem and I must say it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for entering the contest and the best of luck to you.


    • Maxboy gold member
      February 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your wonderful comment, I am so happy you enjoyed my write.



  • sanguigno
    February 3

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful, chills were rolling through me with every line "I will love you dear
    Forever and all time
    I will put your arm
    Around me dear
    I will make the call
    When it is time"
    thats my favorite line. THANKS FOR ENTERING


    • Maxboy gold member
      February 15
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • Tadd
    February 2
    Edit | Reply
    fantastic write


    • Maxboy gold member
      February 2
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.


  • Symphony
    February 2

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm, I get the feeling you've entered more than 3 poems in this contest I'm a basic so can't see who's who, but have seen your username in quite a few Author Notes, I think...

    However. This is my favourite out of all your entries so far - very touchingly written, and while the rhyme structure took a bit of getting used to at first, after the second stanza, it began to feel like an old time love ballad and worked very well in that situation.

    thanks for entering!

    • Maxboy gold member
      February 2
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write. I do not believe I have entered more than the number allowed.

      Thank You


  • Ms Raneika
    January 29
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering.
    emotional piece.

    Love, Raneika


    • Maxboy gold member
      January 30
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • Haygood gold member
    January 28
    Edit | Reply

    A very sad write indeed.

    It is touching.


    • Maxboy gold member
      January 28
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.

      Thanks


  • Paloszoo gold member
    January 27

    Edit | Reply
    A very poignant and beautiful write. I love it! Thanks for entering my contest. It's a pleasure to read your work!


    • Maxboy gold member
      February 9
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • Reptile Lady gold member
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    Moving write that is honest deep and true reflections of the waiting and the final passing
    Julie x


    • Maxboy gold member
      January 26
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much Julie for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • RedAquarius
    January 26

    Edit | Reply
    An event many can relate to (and am sure they do not want to), time is too short with our loved ones, no matter how long we may get.


    • Maxboy gold member
      January 26
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.


  • Sweetest-Maleficia
    January 25

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing the whole time I was reading it I was just hopeing that it wouldnt end, great great write


    • Maxboy gold member
      January 25
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, I am very pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    January 24

    Edit | Reply
    I know exactly how you feel here, that's the thing with love and time, we can't it to go on forever and yet we want it to stay just the same. I love the backgeround.


    • Maxboy gold member
      January 24
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.



  • Umi Juvariel
    January 20

    Edit | Reply
    This was peacefully written, as well it should be for it's theme. I loved the breaks in the lines and the continuing love that was shared. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.


    • Maxboy gold member
      January 20
      Edit | Reply

      <

      Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.


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