H urt to the point where I don't
E at. Scared from your
A busive words,
R ipped to the very
T iny pices you see.
B ruised with your,
R aging anger.
O pened me up and take the very thing that
K ept me alive and breathing.
E ver lasting love, ya right your
N othing but a heart breaker.
please tell me wat u think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Awesome job! I really felt the emotion behind this piece! An A+ job! Keep up the awesome work adn thanks so much for the share! I really am looking forward to reading more of your work....which I probably have already............ I read a lot of stuff on here and try to comment on everyones....Sorry for my mindless ramblings.............HAHA!!!!!
Again.....Thanks so much for the brilliant write and share! Good luck with future writes....but judging from this, you don't really need much luck!!!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~**~Heroesrox~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~* -
Diiferent.
This is a different way of veiwing or writing a poem but its good!
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interesting piece. I like the way you just have the sentences flow into the next letter, instead of starting a new sentence with each new letter.
Thanks for your comment on my work. Looking forward to reading more of yours.
"Masquerade" -
Nice little rant here; I don't know, I think I would spell "ya" y-a-h, "ya" can also be mistaken for "yuh," a form of "you" in the South. You also have a past tense/present tense conflict with "O pened me up and take the very thing that" it should be "O pen me up and take the very thing that""K ept me alive and breathing." or, "O pened me up and took the very thing that""K ept me alive and breathing."
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Nicely done. Making it an acrostic worked very well.
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heartbreak its a bitch when your thee one holding on great write hope your heart mends soon you never know when cupid is going to strike chin up
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so true
bummer
they call it life
i like the title
and
then the next tense of the verb to break, broke,
heart broken
superb
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