Hello,
It’s breezy outside. Weeks have passed in wilderness and my journey finally seems to be nearing an end. The clear sky looks like a never-ending ocean. After many years some long lost thoughts have again re-appeared. An unfulfilled wish I never tried compelling. Finally am penning down what I always wanted to. I can’t remember when I last made up my mind to write on her but glad that this moment has finally cometh!!
Before starting I just want to clarify that I am neither writing a biography nor a preparing memento for anyone. I’m actually deciphering a character, which has for long been embedded, in my soul. I’m not conveying a message neither garnering anyone’s attention. All I’m doing is letting my thoughts free. What is written is neither good nor bad, it doesn’t even defend and compliment anyone but merely a pregnant cloud waiting to burst.
Still remember the day I saw her for the first time, Was 14 years then. She was a not-so-quiet, enamoring, happy-go-lucky girl. Smile was always her static companion. A girl who talked as if ‘tomorrow would never come’. When I first befriended her, first thought that came in my mind was that this girl was different from what I earlier encountered. She had this unique aura, an allurement that leaves one besotted. Few weeks since I first met her, I realized that there is something more in this girl then mere enthrallment. Sometimes her antics left me dumb struck. It was as if she was cloaking something from the world. Hiding her face, her feelings by masking herself with a disguised face. Sometimes I could sense her vacuum but was not sure if I was right. One could rarely see her sad. And whenever she was, it would be masked with a smile. I hated her for this. Infact I still do. It was as if she didn’t trust the world or the whole world had betrayed her. I found no sense in she hiding her feelings with her close associates. No doubt she did used to disclose her feelings but I believe they were never complete She was not a girl with many faces neither someone who changes quicker than a chameleon but one things was sure that she was good at hiding her emotions. (Though failed miserably sometimes). When she was happy she would let the whole world know about it and whenever she was said her soul will be the only one to know it.
I’m nowhere conveying that she was a perfect girl one could ever come across. But she did have some uniqueness, which left feel ad-hoc. Slowly as the time passed I knew more about her but she always remained a mystery. I could still sense that vacuum. Every moment spent with her was to be cherished. Her sparkling eyes would lit up the atmosphere. Now it’s a known truth that girls are vivid speakers but she had this added convincibility factor. She would sweep you off your feet and before you realize, she would speed away. She like other girls had attitude with a mould of egoism. Her wit was appreciable, her eagerness to learn new things made her more acceptable to the world.
She was a restless soul, a thinking mind who will dwell over the netegrity of this universe. I disliked her quite a few times for her over exaggerative approach. She sometimes over looked her friends opinion, failed to realize her mistakes. Failed to apologize for her mistakes. But nevertheless for me she was never bad, actually she wasn’t perfect but at the same time she was neither wrong nor bad. May be my way of looking at things is wrong. May be my perception is haywire but for me she always stood right.
I have rarely seen her angry all this years. And whenever she was, her furious eyes meant business. She will suddenly change in to no nonsense girl. I would sometimes take pride by saying that “Glad, I’m not at the receiving end of this”
Quiet a time her thought process left me saturated. She had a mind, which crossed many barriers. I could never realize this potential of hers. May be circumstances taught her a lot. With my hobby of writing poems I could sometimes understand her. I would pray that her talks go on but unfortunately there was always a disruptive end to our conversation. I had always admired her. She showed resilience, will power, and confidence. Was adamant, dominating and helpful. But at the same time was vulnerable. She possessed everything one needs to subjugate the world. Simplicity defined her but was always grilled by complexity. One of the most important things that I have learnt from her is sheer mental toughness. When we became friends I had known a thing or two about her past life. And with every passing year I was seeing her overcome her internal hurdles and come out with a smiling face. Right from the age of 14 I felt that she was waging a lone battle. She would always say that “No, I don’t think that I’m hiding anything” But eyes conveyed something else. I never believed her will lay on my deathbed with the same thought because I still believe she was lying when she said that. In all this years she has fallen a number of times but every time had managed to come out of it with her trademark smile.
Whenever anyone was sad, she will go an extra mile and do every bit to cheer up that person. Beauty with a divine touch. Her fragrance would leave one mesmerized One thing that she had taught me is how to live life. She always believed that no matter what problem you are in, a smile should always accompany you. Her eyes were carrying a burden of thousand questions and at the same time she was the cynosure of everyone’s eyes. Many years have passed but her thought still provokes. It’s not because I have this extra affinity towards her but because she has always been a fighter all her life. She has battled hatred, betrayal and the biggest of them all loneliness. She had whole world beside her but the absence of most eternal thing made life an Armageddon for her. She was like a dusty open book kept on a shelf. Waiting to be read. No matter what she thinks I still believe that she always heed something from the world. I can go on & on with my transcripts on her. But I just intend to write a brief about her. May be it will last like a never-ending exercise. Today, my admiration for her stands still. It’s been an enigmatic journey for me. But the mystery still remains unresolved
An angel who was:
C_harismatic, H_appy, A_mbitious, N_aughty, D_etermined, N_exus, I_nspirational
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