Ten in a carton,
twenty to a pack,
they take away a hard on,
and only make me hack.
Five minutes in a meltdown
in a nicotine rush,
you took my life and made me frown
now I will tell you "hush!"
No more argumentative;
no money up in smoke,
you are not my relative
wanting you is such a joke.
Give me back my money,
give me back my time;
I don't think it's funny
that you cost more than a dime.
Damn you for your scientists
Damn you for your gain;
Bless me when my life resists
Curse you for the pain!
Author notes
I'm gonna quit smoking, before it quits me...money up in smoke is all it is, nasty, filthy, cancer in tissue paper bullsh*t. I want my life back.
A contest entry
- Say Goodbye to a vice by Miss Faerie.
925 points, ended January 4, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
This is great. Most people don't see smoking as something that is a money pit, rather it seems a good answer to a bad problem.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck
Shari-Lei
-
-
Smoking is no answer to any problem, it's just an initial buzz that fades to addiction long after the buzz no longer comes. For a minute of headrush one trades years of being smoke free and thousands of dollars turned into ashes. Thanks for the comment.
-
-
Wow! This is awesome. And to quit smoking is wonderful!!! Good Luck and don't give up
-
-
Thanks very much, it's a process.
-
-
A line from one of the most influential songs of my life: 'You hit my only nerve, and that is all it took'.
When that special person people say things like 'she means the world to me' and 'she means everything to me' violates that single nerve, everything starts to break.
You said 'I'm gonna quit smoking, before it quits me'. I think you should quit smoking before someone you think you care about realises that it's a habit that proves you don't care at all.
I won't get started on that, a truth connected to that single nerve is relentless, and does not care about anything but the hatred it suffers.
Some parts of the poem seem forced. The rhymes, I mean. I don't care about the poem, so can't comment much. As for giving up smoking, I couldn't care more. For any stranger, I'd be happy to drink a volcano if it would help them quit. Maybe drinking a volcano (by that I mean the lava, not the solid rock, obviously) is a bit much. I wouldn't do that because I'd die and leave everyone I care about to die inside and live through that death while I selfishly got the easy way out just because I wanted to pour something that wants so much to kill me down my throat.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
