This industrial wasteland leaves nothing for my mind
I've spent hours searching but there's nothing I can find
To show you in some way that I love you
Have I run out of words? What has this come to?
Would you correct me if you think I'm wrong
If I say there's meaning to life with you in this song
Seasons will change and we'll grow old
But if you're still holding my hand I'll let you know
I'll never let go
Our lives will change through the course of time
But I'll be at your side if you stay by mine
And I may never be able to show with words
A message that can neither be seen nor heard
But I'll love you until the day I die
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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wow. i usually dont like such long rhyming because it usually doesnt flow as well as short to the point rhymes. i think you did this wonderfully though so it doesnt bother me. its very clever and has a really deep meaning. i love it!!!<3
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Awesome job here, my friend! You showed very vivid imagery and everything!!!! Thanks for such a brilliant share! Keep up the great work and best wishes!!!!
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A very nice peice. Had a nice message and great emotion from this.
Very well done - 10/10. -
Beautifully written. It was really easy to follow and had a great flow. The message was beautiful and I could feel the emotion seeping off the screen.
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Very pretty.. enjoyed reading your poem.. very well put into words.. the emotion is great! Keep it up!
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what a sweet sweet poem.
I can totally feel an acoustic song flow to this.
Very well done. -
very well done. i would like to hear this put to music. i envy your ability to write lyrics as i seem to be hopelessly unable to do so. thank you for sharing this with me today. viyanna rosemarie
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Two thumbs up
Simply amazing indeed. I almost dont even have the words to express how I feel about this lovely piece. You did a wonderful job, and I can't wait to read more of your work. Just beautiful!
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Very sweetly done and done very efficiently with great word choice. Good write.
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Beautifully written statment of long enduring love.
I think by Industrial wasteland, you meant that you just can't find words deep enough from your mind to say what you want to.
I think you said it simply and beautifully.
This is a wonderful testament to an enduring love that you want to last your whole life.
BRAVO!
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Wow
"Our lives will change through the course of time
But I'll be at your side if you stay by mine
And I may never be able to show with words
A message that can neither be seen nor heard"
Overall a very very touching poem, I found the emotion striking and the rhyme and flow well done. The part I have copied into this comment was particularly well done, shows truth in your emotion and is something I can admire from anyone who can say what you have said and mean every bit of it. Good job!
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industrial wasteland must be a metaphor for stress, me thinks, it has something to do with the relationship...maybe expanding the thought a little can justify it within the poem
but just like you said, you are running out of words.
sans the right words, your intentions are clearly stated. I too am running out of words often times.
Thank you for the read.
belle
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The colors make this one a little hard to read, but I braved it anyway. Nice poem--sounds like a song. The first line doesn't seem to fit with anything. I couldn't decide if you were talking about a real industrial wasteland, or if it was a metaphor for something. I vote for metaphor, but I need a little help deciding to what you are referring. I like the rest of the poem, though, especially the end of the first stanza, and the end of the last stanza. I like the idea of not being good with words and trying to show your love in other ways.
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"Would you correct me if you think I'm wrong
If I say there's meaning to life with you in this song
Seasons will change and we'll grow old
But if you're still holding my hand I'll let you know"
This is my favorite part of the whole thing, but a stunning piece all toghether! Thanks for the share! -
That was very insightful. I love your form, and flow.
Its just easier.
Very good poet i must say.
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good word use and love the rhyme sceme
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This is very loving, a little difficult to read with the blue and black but good. Remember when to cut the rope if you have to though because if could turn messy. best of luck with your problems, we're all with you
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This was a wonderful read about a true love for your other half who completes you. To me..
Our lives will change through the course of time
But I'll be at your side if you stay by mine
And I may never be able to show with words
A message that can neither be seen nor heard
But I'll love you until the day I die
That says everything in whole! Beautifully written keep up the wonderful job.
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I hope that some one who can not find the words will find this poem because it says it perfectly. I will always be there. It says it with complete conviction. Each word speaks the truth of the title. Never let go. I hope that you may hold onto what you love even long after the sun has set for the final time.
Guardian Warrior.
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