Wings wrap me:
“Put his book aside,
the one read too many times marked
with gradual erosion.”
I tilt:
“Perhaps he will find me later,
unrecognizable but for teeth.
My stubborn jaw the last to go.”
The moon masks us:
“Your fossil record is always here
whether or not he discovers it.”
.
Author notes
Inspiration:
Seagull, I knew, was very wise. As I flew with him I thought very carefully and chose words so that when I spoke he would know I had been learning.
"Seagull," I said at last, "why do you fly me to see Rae
when you know in truth I am already with her?"
Seagull turned down over the sea, over the hills, over the streets,
and landed gently upon your rooftop.
"Because the important thing," he said, "is for you to know the truth.
Until you know it, until you truly understand it, you can show it only in smaller ways, and with outside help, from machines and people and birds. But remember," he said,
"that not being known doesn't stop the truth from being true." And he was gone.
A contest entry
- there is no such place as far away by Cat.
2800 points, ended January 7, 2009, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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WOW, truly golden.
scuze the brief commentary but its wayyyy too damn early
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Been a long time since I've read Jonathan Livingston Seagull...
Saw you snorkel. In Hawaii, no less. Here is how us common folk do it...http://allpoetry.com/poem/4639999
I have eroded a few books. I find I like the familiar for bed time. Interesting enough, but not exiting enough to keep me awake...
Reminds me of Charlton Heston in the cave in PLlanet of the Grapes... -
Goodness, no wonder this won gold. It's so simple but it grasped me like no other. I think this is one of very few writes that benefit from a lot of spacing. Kind of like representing the ocean and it's vastness. The teeth stanza was probably my favorite. Amazing
Jeanette*~
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Congrats on a well earned award, and thanks for the reading of this.
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this is excellent-
the dental record just outstanding- my favorite of yours to date..
gold.
m
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damn
meant these
drunk, sorry
those two words are said together
all together too often you know -
this left me like a dinosaur
during the great flood and wondering
what the fuck...
and i appreciate that -
What a wonderful read...
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Heidi,
I think this goes back to your uniform days. The book, wraped in wings,dental records. And the last line~
"that not being known doesn't stop the truth from being true." ~
Yes once you find the truth...
Happy Holidays,
Joe
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I love the conversation postmarked by the action. What a cleaver way of presenting the argument ... that you exist in your own discovery.
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Dreams or atrifacts of dreams
slow erosion will reveal even the deepest fossil
I have no idea if this was relevant to what you wrote but
its what I came up with.
these are the nail clippings of a dream
I like them
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i love i took you there
yes so relevant!
(i think)
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I have no real words at the moment - but know I loved it.
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i love what is not said. i love the being wrapped in wings...this feels to me like the subconscious voice, the inner voice talking.
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This is like a fable or fairy tale for grown ups to me. I feel a sense of warmth and sweetness towards this, even though it is so spare, it's elegant and into the voids there's room for the imagination to play and fill it out in fine images.
My stubborn jaw the last to go... That made me smile.
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i love that you took it like a fable...
i worked with this for almost 2 weeks i think (whenever the contest started) and I had so much more in it... but it was irritating to me...
too wordy, too much and this is what i ended up with that said the same thing without the fluffy crap i had around it...
glad you smiled
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groovy
sounds like an acid trip i took one time
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oh wow...this is amazing, Heidi...I'm lost of words at the moment. I absolutely love what you've woven out of the inspiration. I think Mary is going to have a hard time judging this one
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I think i read this like ten times Heidi,
then again i always have to go over your poems several times before i get anything. LOL
Ken
P.s Thanks for droppin' by the other day,
yeah, i've been well i suppose
Hope you are too.
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And you say I'm going to kill you?
This nearly suffocated me. Amazing!!
♣Tegan
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This is phenomenal Heidi. Says all it needs to say. I take it the quotes are you're own? Just wondering, but I'm assuming they are. I loved the second one; '
stubborn jaw'...
Good luck in Mary's contest.
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Wow...this sucked the air from my lungs, and blew it back at me like a force five hurricane! Oh, this is powerful Heidi. *sigh*
All the best
mj.
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Those last lines you wrote, they mean so much as I read them, the discovery of yourself by other's and not many ever do, perhaps because they see too much of who they want to be and don't have the courage to find a way to be all they can be. Love, C
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yea, yous a rawkstar like pink
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hee hee you make me laugh
i got my game on
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you sure do. i would like to borrow a bit of your game, lol. i dont have any
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pfft.... ummm i just read your last one... duhhhh
lol
here you can have my duck
get it? game?
omg i am so lame
hee hee -
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i love ducks!
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