Our hearts stopped in December
And we were happy to join winter
(At least for a little while)
You see, our hearts beat as one
with nature
And we yearn to go back
to what we were
Before we entered this world --
....Dust
We yearn
to be one with nature.
And in spring
we bloom again
Just like
the flowers in our hearts
And we all look
for the new growth
that will bring us closer
to our eternal, epiphany-filled
paradise.
In summer we flower
and bloom once more
Like the glory and joy
we experienced before
We let the light shine
down on our dark moon
deep within our souls
And watch them glow
Again.
And finally...
In fall
We return to dead leaves
and yearn
to be born
anew
As the end of winter promises
The hour is darkest before the dawn
of a new era
our new lives
Filled with dreams
and ambitions
Hopes and goals
that we yearn
to come true
Just as the sun rises
to greet the new world
and a new day
a new life.
The hour is darkest
just before the dawn
But we need
to live through
to go on.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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amazing metaphors, beautiful use of words, only thing i could think of is punctuation, there isn't enough, such as in
"In summer we flower
and bloom once more
Like the glory and joy
we experienced before
We let the light shine
down on our dark moon
deep within our souls
And watch them glow
Again."
it might sound better with a comma or somethin after "more, before, down, and souls." it would make it a little slower and allow the reader to enjoy the piece more thoroughly and allow them time to think of the beautiful metaphors you used.
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Thank you so much! Your suggestions really mean a lot to me.
I agree that it would make the piece sound less rushed and allow the reader to enjoy it more.
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wow this is very deep personally i believe that you can always be reborn no matter what happens. I really like the way you broke up your lines it puts more emphasis on some of the things that are important to the poem. my fav. part of the poem would probably have to be.....
And finally...
In fall
We return to dead leaves
and yearn
to be born
anew
As the end of winter promises
The main reason why these are my fav. lines are because fall shows the an ending and a begginning of something new and that makes me look at fall in a new point of view. anyways sorry to babble you did a good job in putting this piece together.
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Thank you so much! It really means a lot.
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I love how metaphorical it is.This makes it so much easier to understand the feeling of it. Amazing write! =)
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Thank you! It means so much to me.
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Beautiful I love the expression of metaphors to the seasons, It expells foward what few of us are ready to willing accept in our own lives, great work capturing this in your poem and bringing it foward
Romeo
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Thank you so much!
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Thank you very much for your kind comment. It means a lot to me. I am glad you enjoyed it and that you found so much meaning in its words. It's interesting to hear different interpretations. Thanks a lot! ^_^
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I like this a lot. It says to me that if I experience something sad I need to move on with my life and stop living in the past. "And in spring we bloom again Just like the flowers in our hearts" Favorite lines right there. Beautiful. Wonderful write.
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Thank you so much! I really appreciate your compliments and I am so glad you enjoyed it. Yes, that is what I get from the poem too. I was inspired by The Dark Knight. ^_^
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