A shove so great to break you -
Falling, flailing into nonbeing;
No longer knowing your greatness.
A gentle man beaten by insanity,
And a love that crushed your spirit.
Lost to those who knew you well –
My hand outstretched to yours;
Begging for forgiveness, strength,
As I watch you succumb to yourself.
Your mind twisted with toxic beliefs.
Hear her words with powerful disbelief –
A crumpled up man alone and forgotten;
Finally quieted and at peace with himself.
It cannot be true! What have I done?
To know now a call could’ve saved you.
Reflection upon our closing words -
Wicked, unloving they were meant to be.
And I cup what’s left of my tender love;
Hoary ashes now free of a once warm soul.
Blown into the winds with hope of a final truce.
Author notes
This is about my soulmate Mike who died of a massive coronary at the age of 53. We'd gotten into a terrible argument that ended our eleven year relationship, and he was so heartbroken that he refused to call 911 when the symptons came about. The person he was with honored his wishes and left him alone to die.
In a list
A contest entry
- Your thoughts and feelings... by invisible2u.
600 points, ended February 6, 69 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Like Passing Traffic...they had to go!!! by ListeningToSilence.
700 points, ended February 5, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Sorry about your loss. This is a great writing. I hope you do well in my contest and thanks for entering. Love and Peace!
-Jess
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Tender
Touching and full of tenderness and deep pure,true emotion. The first time I read this is was sad and tear jerking.A well written,well composed entry.Thank you -
I know how you mean, my Dads brother died in a car accident, due to losing too much blood as his blood couldn't clot... They were arguing at the time and I don't think my Dad can properly forgive himself for not making amends, but you're never to know. It really isn't a matter of blame, it's finding inner peace.
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I am sorry about your loss
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Blimey....
Just when I think you've been through enough... I learn that you've been through yet more pain!
I can only hope that you do't blame yourself in any way for this one,.... that's too great a burden to bear. -
I am so sorry for your loss! This is so sad when you know the story behind it.
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Very awesome
poem i really liked this this made for a great read.. thanks for sharing and entering the contest.. best of luck. -
Wow what a deep poem!
This is well written!
impeccable job!
So amazing!
Thank you for entering keep up the good work!
~ Trill -
Wow. Thats an amazing story. your words are so beautiful. you can feel the sadness..your poem made me cry...then i read the AN and cried some more. good luck in my contest xx
--meggen xo
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wow a touching story that really breaks the heart, if i had not read the AN i would have not known this was about that, it fits many scenario
thanks for entering -
this is really sad
but you wrote i beautifully
thanx for entering -
I really enjoyed your poem!!! it was very intense and i thought it flowed together nicely! THANKS FOR ENTERING MY CONTEST good luck
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Oh my god. This is amazing. Truly a great work here, very full of emotion.
You've painted a picture with words. Very nice work.
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You covered the prompt very well. I know of some that die this daily death. Good job, sis.
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What a great write. I like your take on the prompt. Best of luck in the contest and in future writing. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Caity
>Wakawaka< -
I have to agree with Maxboy, it is a wonderful take on the quote. It's a very powerful poem. It has a great flow, great word choices throughout and good rhythm. Overall, this is a great poem. Very clever, which leaves a impact on the reader for a good while after reading it. I like this poem a lot.
Thank you for entering my contest.
Sarah
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What a wonderful take on the quote/prompt. I really liked this stanza, as sad as it is, but powerful.
"Hear her words with powerful disbelief –
A crumpled up man alone and forgotten;
Finally quieted and at peace with himself.
It cannot be true! What have I done?
To know now a call could’ve saved you."
Well Done.....Best wishes in the contest
Love
Don
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