The breeze blows a whisper across the lily pond,
Speaking of its secrets through petal, stem and frond.
Clear water silent beneath the monkey-puzzle tree,
As twilight softly steps across the sky, protectively.
As the pastel hues of sunset grow and sweep the sky above,
Tiny ears stop to listen in shade of lavender and foxglove.
The midnight hour nigh, and they are tempted out to play,
To frolic, veiled, in moonlight, until the dawn of day.
And once the milky crescent has fleeted home again,
So do night-time creatures surrender nocturnal reign.
And the breeze blows a whisper across the lily pond,
Speaking of its secrets through petal, stem and frond.
Author notes
My name is Phoenix--Fire
Image "water lilies" by Claude Monet.
I dont know why, but the wordbank just made me think of night-time, and all the things that happen away from our eyes.
A contest entry
- 6 words I'll send to you and then you give me something wonderful! by Nakatrea.
625 points, ended December 29, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhymers return - Round 4 Nature by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended January 31, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Pre Writes Pre Writes Pre Writes by pain is love..
450 points, ended February 5, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
I missed this when
This is fantastic honey! You did a great job on this one! There is more to the night than we see, isn't there?
Best of luck in this contest!
and love
Nyetta
-
Your are a poets poet!
This is stunning in every way.
Your picturesque imagery left me
longing for more of the sights and
sounds of your 'lily pond'
Magical!
Enchanting!
Thank you for sharing
~Pastel
-
This piece is so wonderful my darling, it amazes me your talent for writing is, Poems such as this come once in a life time, and to think you wrote this with a few words that meant nothing, but you turned it around and wrote something that is inspired, imagantive and a true joy to read, I just wish i had the talent you do in your little finger. And this is why websites like this are wonderful, because it shows how talented undescovered people are, i honestly think that some one would pay good money for a piece of work like this, i just hope some day that you get your just deserves.
P.S Giant Monkeys dont like Puzzle Monkey tree's they steal our ladies, our children and more important our freaking names. DEATH TO THE MONKEY TREE!!!! RAR!!!!
-
....I'm awe-struck ! Such a beautiful write. I don't exactly know what to say..ummm Imagery= AH-mazing . Diction = awesome. Poem = FANTASTICAL
The rhyming is so unforced and you aren't conscious of it really. Its not like its a bouncy cheesy rhyming poem. This is very mature and just plain gorgeous.
I feel proud to have inspired this with a lack of inspiration( finding words is harder than you think. I wasn't sure what to give you)
The painting gives this a great touch - if only i had a membership.
I wish it was possible to give more than 3
s
perhaps you will recieve better reward for such a beautiful piece...
♥ (a very happy) Kat
-
-
Honey, thank you so much for the wonderful comment.
I am so glad you enjoyed the piece, the words you gave me were great!
-
-
Oh you're welcome! I love commenting. If there's anything else you want me to check out - let me know ;D
Kat
-
-
-
Aww... So beautiful...
Wonderful narrative littered with such vivid imagery that really paints a picture in the mind of the reader...
And always amazes me how you embrace the light as well as you embrace the darkness...
Stunning piece...
Well done!!!
-
ok... for you i give thee the following words:
tempted
clear
listen
whisper
grow
puzzle
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
