Hand in hand we walk away
In silence you need not say
My heart is pounding
And breathing increasing
The night speaks for us
As the stars twinkle
They tell our story
In time and space
A simple wrinkle
Hip to hip
Lips to lips
Our eyes lock
And we kiss
Left foot moves
And I dip down
As we prove
Music is not needed
When we are around
Dancing to our own melody
For within each other
We find our sanity
But those who know not love
Find us demented
Only agape
Is where the silent music
Is represented
Author notes
in the prompt Nietzsche was mentioned which brought to mind one of my all time favorite quotes"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." - Friedrich Nietzsche I based this poem off of that quote.
A contest entry
- I reached 5 years, and forgot. by Beautiful Irony.
400 points, ended December 21, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pumpkin Pie by GypsyEyes.
400 points, ended December 22, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Super Picky Contest, Pickier Judge by magdelene.
900 points, ended January 10, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I thank you for your love by Angelo di Luce.
430 points, ended January 22, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Enjoyed your write
thank you for entering -
the poem fits a vague recommendation of my contest, which was that i like Nietzche, but I firmly said i hate rhyme. while the poem had rhythm, the rhyme threw it off. it was forced, like a rectangle in a square hole...kinda fits, not really.
-
Yeah, I'm a Nietzsche fan, so it was a no-brainer to put him in the contest blurb!
You picked a fantastic quote, there are so many interpretations, you hit the nail squarely on the head.
My particular favourite stanza is number three, (beginning "Hip to hip". It has a fabulous beat, and it's very, very well phrased.
The rhythm of this poem is fantastic, there's no breaks in the beat and it has a fantastic flow.
Once again, I love the spin you've put on this quote, and the word choices you've made make this a fabulous write.
Thank you for entering into my contest.
Sarah
Adding your comment:
