On the first day of Christmas
my girlfriend gave to me
a blowjob under the tree.
On the second day of Christmas
my girlfriend gave to me
a hickey on my penis
and a blowjob under the tree.
On the third day of Christmas
my girlfriend gave to me
a pussy-whipping, a hickey on my penis
and a blowjob under the tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas
my girlfriend gave to me
Monica Lewinski, a pussy-whipping,
a hickey on my penis
and a blowjob under the tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas
my girlfriend gave to me
the name of her psychotherapist, Monica Lewinski,
a pussy-whipping, a hickey on my penis
and a blowjob under the tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas
my girlfriend gave to me
a case of herpes, the name of her psychotherapist,
Monica Lewinski, a pussy-whipping
a hickey on my penis
and a blowjob under the tree.
On the seventh day of Christmas
my girlfriend gave to me
her best friend’s number, a case of herpes,
the name of her psychotherapist,
Monica Lewinski, a pussy-whipping,
a hickey on my penis
and a blowjob under the tree.
On the eight day of Christmas
my girlfriend gave to me
a tube of Herpes-ide, her best friend’s number,
a case of herpes, the name of her psychotherapist,
Monica Lewinski, a pussy-whipping,
a hickey on my penis
and a blowjob under the tree.
On the ninth day of Christmas
my girlfriend gave to me
a shot of penicillin, a tube of Herpes-ide,
her best friend’s number, a case of herpes,
the name of her psychotherapist, Monica Lewinski,
a pussy-whipping, a hickey on my penis
and a blowjob under the tree.
On the tenth day of Christmas
my girlfriend gave to me
an ultimatum, a shot of penicillin,
a tube of Herpes-ide, her best friend’s number,
a case of herpes, the name of her psychotherapist,
Monica Lewinski, a pussy-whipping,
a hickey on my penis
and a blowjob under the tree.
On the eleventh day of Christmas
my girlfriend gave to me
three days to live, an ultimatum,
a shot of penicillin, a tube of Herpes-ide
her best friend’s number, a case of herpes,
the name of her psychotherapist, Monica Lewinski,
a pussy-whipping, a hickey on my penis
and a blowjob under the tree.
On the twelfth day of Christmas
my girlfriend gave to me
Doctor Kevorkian, three days to live,
an ultimatum, a shot of penicillin,
a tube of Herpes-ide, her best friend’s number,
a case of herpes, the name of her psychotherapist,
Monica Lewinski, a pussy-whipping,
a hickey on my penis
and a blowjob under the tree—and
blowjob just before
they euthanized me.
Author notes
God help us.
A contest entry
- Adult Christmas Contest [18 + ONLY] by Sweet Impatience.
1800 points, ended December 29, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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lmfao.
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Thank you...Sure, you're just laughing your sweet butt off knowing that my penis will be falling off soon.
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this was just too funny.. I read this a couple of days ago.. and I had no idea what to say.. more like my jaw hit the floor with a very loud thud.. lol the second day of Christmas was very very interesting.. ok it was all very interesting maybe that's not quite the right word. excuse me for a bit while I try to find the right words.
You did an outstanding job with this... I love it.
good luck
kat
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Kat
Thank you for commenting and for holding the contest, thank you for the silver
...I took a different approach here knowing well that most of the entries would be about receiving sex toys and the likes, thus similar in nature, given our knowledge of such toys.
Vito
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Holy frig holy senor...
Merry fucking Christmas
and a frothy new beer.
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choking! coughing, imagining,getting a tissue to wipe the tears away and finally calming down enough to say GREAT JOB . This is hilariously funny.
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Thank you, Jan...Stop choking, calm down
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Ha, ha, ha !
What a brilliant entry in this contest
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Thank you for reading and commenting...I was just wishful thinking.
Vito
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hahahahaha.....
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Thank you
hahahahaha....is good
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this is funny, good luck in the contest
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Thank you
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Whoa baby
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