Oh my love
tangibly, it is a thesis of the freakish
and the segment of the fascination
precisely, when my hands courses towards you
without my plan
when my lips are razor-edged to
trace your coating
when my eyes combs the dandy
around yours thrills
then you make me mimic
ruling my image beyond to any discipline
Oh my love...
A contest entry
- Sex. But No Erotica. by Lj-.
700 points, ended December 21, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
hGod...
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Your imagery is fucking awesome.
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that is sooo, beautiful, i loved it so much. the beauty and romance with out it being like gross and every thing, i really did love it.
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this is so good...kudos to you(snap,snap
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Personally it felt to scientific and blunt. I personaly belived it lacked the relaxed mystic of love
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Mmm, sponteneity can sometimes take even the most disciplined by surprise, short but says much
and a good take on the prompt.
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i found this romantic as well
not that that's a bad thing
mucho congrats
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I liked the wording of this.
Favorite lines:
"when my lips are razor-edged to
trace your coating"
Thank you for your entry,
Best of luck.
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I am sorry but this one made me chuckle lol..it's just not how I'd imagine romantic sex to be I guess. The other judge will be along to gie her verdict.
C
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I'm not sure I understand everything, since your word choices are unusual, i.e., "my lips are razor-edged to/trace your coating" and others appear to have a typo error (the "s" on both "eyes" and "combs") or I am missing a meaning, perhaps? But the thing is, even with my lack of understanding, it is easy to find the emotion in this poem; it flows through so well.
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Now this love poem was breath taking! Your ending was so strong and lovely. I enjoyed reading it very much, you have such strong control on words and emotions. Best of luck in the contest.
Love&Peace
~Noor
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