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Vol. I: Uncommon Common Abuse of Seniors & Elderly

Uncommon Common Abuse of Seniors and Elderly
©copyright 2008 Bonita M Quesinberry, R.C.


For some time now, the Holy Spirit has been nudging me to share my story of the last year and a half; and, I'm sure TSaS members have been wondering why my move from Belfair to Shelton seemed to shut-down all TSaS activity and lessons. While the title hereof may seem contradictory, it is not; and, this is a story that will unfold over the next few weeks of installments. My willingness to share it now is due to realizing that this isn't just about me: it's about the largest human demographic in this country, each and every senior and elderly person. (seniors – 52 up to 62, which includes our baby boomers; elderly, 62 and up, I am 64)

We all are familiar with news reports of senior and elderly abuse by grown children, caregivers, care homes and nursing homes. In today's wicked environment these reports are all too common. However, there is a more insidious abuse occurring by the higher powers that be in our nation, those at the Federal and State levels: common to those experiencing the abuse but uncommon for the lack of reporting and no action to change.

Fear drives all such seniors and elderly to silence— that is, until the Lord decided to set me down right in the middle of it, knowing I would not keep silent and I haven't. The fear injected in these people is that of suddenly finding themselves on the streets going hungry: if they talk. Alas, I have remained silent when it comes to broadcasting it as far and wide as possible; more because I don't usually indulge in talking about self ad nausium and certainly don't like to dwell on my health issues: I fair better by ignoring them and leaving all to God. Nevertheless, my prayer is that each of our members will follow these events to conclusion, take the time to investigate the situations of their senior and elderly loved ones, and to spread word demanding change in unjust systems.

At the Federal level, we will be looking at HUD subsidized housing; and, at the State level, obviously we will scrutinize the Departments of Social and Health Services where a very large demographic of seniors and elderly, disabled or otherwise, go for medical (Medicaid, supplement to Medicare) including DSHS contract doctors and food assistance and, sometimes, cash assistance in the form of supplemental income to augment a tiny Social Security benefit.

For the most part, these are people who, like me, never dreamed in their wildest nightmares that they ever would end up having to turn to these systems into which they had paid dearly over the years. Unfortunately and like me, death of perhaps a spouse and/or health issues can instantly change our plans. BUT! What benefits we get, we paid for long ago: so, we are NOT getting free handouts. That distinction belongs to the many who do abuse these systems.

In order to set the scene for you, I will need to share my medical history; for there are parts of this story involving DSHS that would not be clear without it. All of you know I experienced a statistically fatal brain aneurysm in 2005, my daughter having advised all of you, and in 2006 broke my back. Then, in 2007, I had to move according to the agreement that my friend Betty's son had made with me after her death. There will be a quick flash back to when I first entered subsidized housing before moving to Betty's. First, my medical history and diagnoses below (please forgive the necessary lengthiness):

History -- Medical Diagnoses follow History
At age 6, patient fell almost 30-ft, sustained numerous internal injuries, including misplacement of ovaries, uterus, and kidneys, head trauma to right temporal lobe: unconscious 3 days. Ensuing year she contracted, first, simultaneous double pneumonia and German measles (nearly died), then mumps and chickenpox. Age 9, she sustained another head trauma to right temporal lobe: was blackout blind for 3 days and lost 20-20 vision until 12yo (astigmatism and far-sightedness), at which time 20-20 vision returned. It was determined that her skull is too thin thus concusses quite easily with little force.

Later scans reveal right temporal lobe damage: epileptic center (Petit Mal). Age 8, patient began passing out in temperatures above 70 degrees: was not doctor examined. In recent years, she can overheat in temps as low as 60 degrees. Later in life it was determined that by 12yo all symptoms of MS and Lupus had manifested. Age 10, patient nearly fell 20-ft but friend caught her: doctors determined she has no sensation of height, tends to slowly lean toward ground unaware until unconscious, then falls. At 10, broke left foot in 3 places after jumping off a pier into what she thought was deep water but was shallow.

Following birth of first child in 1963 (age 19), she again lost 20-20 vision (same diagnosis as above): 20-20 vision returned again in 1967 several months after birth of second child (third pregnancy) and remained good until 1990 (46yo).

Age 27 (Jan 1971) following birth of fourth child (sixth pregnancy), patient nearly died of pancreatitis, one relapse 2 weeks after first remission: remains in remission to date (NOTE: Ms. Quesinberry has never been an alcohol drinker or drug user, which at the time stymied her doctors). Three months later, she had emergency complete hysterectomy due to continued bleeding following birth in January (told she should have never had children: 6 pregnancies, 4 full term – one daughter died in 1971, another in 1972).

Prior to 1971, patient had 6 minor surgeries (D&C every 6 months due to cervix inexplicably sealing shut) and one major to remove a grapefruit size cyst from right ovary: surgery revealed severe fall damage to kidneys, especially the right, and ovaries. Doctors later suggested removing gall bladder, felt it was diseased, and tonsils: she refused. She experiences many flu-like symptoms, despite being non-flu seasons (common to Lupus). At the time, it was thought she had a weak immune system.

At 43yo, patient moved from Texas to Washington State. At 46yo (1990), patient had two heart attacks within two weeks (no damage to heart): had produced no biles for previous 45 days, gained 30 pounds in 30 of those days, and lost 20-20 vision over night (which has continued to deteriorate to date, as noted in Medical Diagnoses List below).  Additional severe injuries to back of skull: 1) slammed against brick wall at 45yo, severe pain for 15 days yet a Washington doctor diagnosed sinus infection despite location of pain; 2) fell on ice, slamming head first against concrete driveway at 52yo, severe pain for 14 days. Essentially bedridden during full time of severe pain.

Age 24, diagnosed with Degenerative Vascular Disease and considered at extreme high risk for brain aneurysm or major stroke or cerebral hemorrhage (brain aneurysm occurred in 2005, age 61): appearance of lesions led doctors to believe she had experienced numerous small strokes until MS was diagnosed in 1983. She was told she could not work if she wanted to live to see her children grown. She worked another 32 years. Broke back, 2006-62yo, in standing position. At about 39, doctors finally connected the dots to diagnose Multiple Sclerosis and Lupus along with other maladies already discovered.

It also was determined that the patient cannot take most pharmaceutical drugs, inasmuch as her body tends to react violently: some stop her heart or send it into tachycardia, others cause inability to swallow and/or tremendous pain in liver and/or pancreas, difficulty or inability to urinate, vomiting, etc. At 55yo, Seattle's Social Security Judge ruled that she may refuse or accept drugs according to her knowledge of her body, also allowing her to take various herbs and OTC remedies that she knows help, same to be treated as medical expenses with respect to DSHS benefits and HUD subsidized housing.

1965-21yo, she nearly died from a penicillin shot thus cannot take any 'cillin' antibiotics and most pain meds such as dental gas, Codeine, Vicoden, Demerol, Percoset, Morphine and all derivatives (none of which ever addressed her pain): Oxycodone, 10 to 20 mg per dose, only known pain med she can take yet experience zero side effects while definitely addressing her pain. She has tolerated most anesthetics used in surgery or other invasive procedures such as colonoscopy: best to check with specialists/surgeons who conducted tests or did the brain surgery (Dr. Sharma, Bremerton/ Dr. Shakar, Harborview).

Because of inability to tolerate and/or process most drugs and all invasive procedures, she must be monitored minimum of 24 to 48 hours, or longer: depends on reactions after procedures. Her Texas doctors tested only by first admitting her to hospital, usually for up to seven days or more. She has lived with daily mild to severe pain since age 6, which is ongoing as well as intensifying as her body deteriorates primarily from MS and Lupus.

Medical Diagnoses:
Numbers appearing in parentheses ( ) reflect patient's age when diagnosis made:

Multiple Sclerosis & Lupus, all symptoms present/brain covered in lesions (39 & 55)
Degenerative Vascular Disease (24 in TX, again at 55 in WA)
Rheumatoid Arthritis (12)
Osteo-arthritis, mild beginning (64)
Osteoporosis, mild beginning (64)
Fibromyalgia (54)
Petit Mal Epilepsy, seizures of a catatonic nature, controlled by deep concentration: first given Dilantin for 2yrs until side effects, then valium-10 4x day until she learned to control by deep concentration method: has been effective. (23)

Heart Dysrhythmia, skips beats (23)
Tachycardia, treated 1-yr with Enderol, now comes and goes (31)
Scoliosis, mild (23)
Cervical Spine curved in wrong direction, top two floating vertebrae press against spinal cord: advised that a hard slap could kill her (45)
Severe Migraines, determined cause due to various diseases, non-tension (18-27)

Hypo- & Hyper-glycemia, vacillates between, controlled with diet (23)
High Blood Pressure, following brain aneurysm: still not under control, should be 96/60, therefore surgeon deems her at high risk for another due to both B/P and the fact she already has had a bleeder; must avoid stress. Treating with Propranolol 80mg 2x day and 1-50mg Cozaar per day (61)

Bladder: microscopic blood in urine due to weak blood vessels in bladder, has
experienced severe kidney or bladder infections in past  (55?)
Collapsing veins: when invaded by smallest of needles, the vein will collapse and cause a sympathetic collapse in opposite arm; during a recent MRI, 6 veins collapsed before administering dye in seventh vein, which then collapsed as well; also has petikiel [sp] hemorrhaging on various parts of her body and eyes
Visual Disturbances, double and triple vision (wears trifocals), back of right eyeball misshapen, early glaucoma, small tear in left eye, often extreme pain in the eyes, and pain in sharp rotation of eyes: vision constantly changes, sometimes glasses useless (MS can cause instantaneous/irreversible blindness) slow reaction time from dark to light and from close to distant

Known Natural Allergens: 
1) cedar; 2) ragweed; 3) mold — each cause severe migraines and lethargy
4) Histamine produced by human body — was given a series of 3-IVs to
desensitize her in 1968 or 1969: doctors said it should be done again about
every 10 years: she has had no such procedure since then
--------------------------------------------------

Perhaps everyone can understand why I prefer to think on other things, like spreading God's Truths, as opposed to my health or even these outside trials and tribulations. God is in control and, like Paul, I rejoice in my afflictions and persecutions as Jesus said we who follow would. Now my story begins.

Over the years I enjoyed very lucrative careers, ultimately bought a home here in Washington and three years later had to sell it. I had been unable to work since age 53, but prior to that I had been running an in-residence teen counseling program in my home as well as my executive position with a Water District: this latter being from which I had to resign. I used all of my retirement benefits in order to stay in my home until the last teen had successfully completed the program. Thus, at age 55, I had to sell it and move into HUD subsidized housing as well as apply for social security disability benefits (the same calculated on what I had paid in over the years).

Bremerton Housing Authority was impressive, not only in how they treated me but the instruction they gave me: "You have an impressive background, excellent references and reputation; so, don't you ever let anyone tell you that you are getting freebies from the system! You have more than paid your fair share of dues, so what you are getting back through Housing and DSHS, is merely a small part of your own money."

I took the advice to heart and the first two years in a subsidized apartment were uneventful. The third year, however, proved to be a nightmare involving a change of site management and a new young neighbor next door, who proved to be a raging alcoholic that partied all night with his surround sound at full power.

This would be my first introduction to abuse by those in housing control; albeit, I was out of it very quickly. Nevertheless, I was abused by the neighbor when I attempted to resolve the issue with him directly, then again by management when I finally when to her: I was told, in writing, that if I complained again, I would be evicted: punish the victim and let the perpetrator off to torment others. The depth of the abuse I would not truly know until I moved from Betty's to Shelton in May of 2007.

Well, this ends the first installment of my story. Next week will reveal the depth of abuse just in HUD subsidized housing and how it is ongoing today; and, the week after we will get into abuse by DSHS, abuse by both HUD and DSHS that easily is considered reckless endangerment and, in the event a recipient were to die from the stress, could lead to wrongful death. Remember this, you might need it to protect one of your loved ones. In the meantime, ask yourself this, "Do you really know how your senior and elderly loved ones are doing? Are they really as okay as they smilingly tell you?"

To Be Continued 20 December 2008


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1 - 7 of 7
  • Oh I am just having lose of words after reading this...by the way, you are very strong woman, facing the life in the manner you stated, I must admit...


  • aboomer silver member
    March 8

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    Those who contributed the most to the system, quickly become expendable when they can no longer line someone's pockets.....it's one of the shames of our nation. Other nations take care of their elderly - our nation writes them off, forgets them.
    I saw so much of what I would label abuse/neglect at the nursing home where my parents were. The aides really seemed to care, but the 'higher-ups' really were only concerned about money - not the elderly patients. it was heartbreaking.
    I think you are amazing - to live with so much and yet rise above it to help others. I hope your situation is resolved in a manner that is right and deserving!


    • BonnieQ silver member
      March 8
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      Thank you so much, dearest Jan, for the comments on this segment of four. The story gets far worse and the abuse rises to Federal and State levels with regard to HUD as well as DSHS. My daughter is an in-home caregiver and has worked as a private caregiver in nursing homes, care homes, and private homes. What she has witnessed makes her ill. She and a friend have 7 acres they would like to develop for a carehome for people like me that could not afford such, due to monthly fees up to $6000 per month. They are looking for help to do the building as well as get some sort of grant program developed for the low income people who need the kind of care she and Shannon give: excellent, I must say.

      Luv & hugs, BonQ

      • aboomer silver member
        March 9
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        Well I sure hope your daughter can get the place she wants/needs - we 'seniors' need all the caring people we can get!!!
        (yeah, for the $6000+ my mom/dad were getting charged at that 'less than good' NH, I could have taken them on a cruise each month and gotten better care - and I'm sure they would have felt better, too!!!
        best wishes/God bless you and your daughter!


  • Desire gold member
    February 8

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    Oh My Word!!

    This tears at my Heartstrings for I felt my grandmother was abused in her home by members of her own church- and it was spiritual abuse also mental abuse She was disabled and I felt they siphoned her savings- using the Lord's name
    This is painful to read but at the same time Inspiring to know You rose above- You came from the ashes so to speak~ Elders and children are so vulnerable that there are perps who continue to prey on both~ it does not help to have the authorities who are supposed to protect rights- aid in the abuse~ exacerbating the problem
    The Lord continues to give me elixir to breathe without pain- remember who I am and where I came from also what I can become and You continually give me the elixir needed to hold my head high not nose up to smell the scent of Life and Appreciate the beauty it gives~ especially with matters of the Heart and Health
    My brother was so disturbed by what he saw when he was an LVN - he could not handle it and had to change fields~ the staff who did wrong were instigating and anyone who protected the rights of the patients were snuffed out but he spoke up before he left- there was change within that nursing home I'm on a different computer so it is not what I am used to Love You SisBon
    Please continue to pen- and never stop
    Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too
    with much love & light~ Desire~*~


  • thelordreigns gold member
    December 17, 2008

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    Elder abuse is the most hideous of the sins of our age. The most revered should be the very young and the elderly. The very young (including the yet unborn) need our total protection or they will perish. The oldsters deserve our respect and reverence but, instead, are considered expendable. It is a horror that our Lord detests.

    I saw the hateful treatment of our seniors when my dear mother-in-law was no longer capable of caring for herself. If my husband and I hadn't cared for her and protected her from the "medical professionals," she would have died before her time.

    The "disposal" of our seniors seems to be the goal in elder care. It is a horrendous situation that must be brought out into the light. I have been praying that the Lord protect you Bonnie but also that He uses you mightily in bringing forth justice.

    I look forward to hearing more of your story.

    Love and hugs - joanne -

    • BonnieQ silver member
      December 17, 2008
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      Thank you, Sis, for the comments; which I will share with our TSaS members in the next segment. I do have it written but will look it over before it goes out Friday night. You are so right about the medical professionals, albeit I'm wondering just what they are professional about. I know what they and housing and HUD and DSHS have done to me and, if it weren't for our awesome Lord, those people would have me already in the grave.

      Keep the prayers going, Sis, as you are in mine as well.

      Lots of love and hugs, SisBon

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