One man in his time plays many parts ...
The lover,
Sighing like furnace ...
The young man gasps and pulls her near,
He wants to show the love he holds.
The girl is cool but oh so dear,
He moves too fast and so she scolds.
Sweet smells assail and drain his strength,
Until no more can he resist.
She warms and gently strokes his length,
The world descends into a mist.
Sinew and bone begin to melt,
Blood pounds and roars within his head.
‘Tis more than he has ever felt,
His manly globes feel filled with lead.
With mighty shout he grants his boon,
But to his shame it is too soon.
Then the justice,
In fair round belly ...
The Judge returns home from the court,
His wife awaits with purest hope.
Giving a glass of finest port,
She prays to God that he can cope.
A fine repast she has prepared,
To mark the years that have gone by.
In this she hopes she has not erred,
‘Tis the last thing that she can try.
Leaving him there to eat his food,
And calm his heart from its hard toil.
She changes clothes to suit the mood,
Anointing neck with scented oil.
Returning to her dear Felipe,
She cries to find him fast asleep.
Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history ...
The balding man lies in his bed,
Doctor and nurse are just outside.
He has banished all thoughts of dread,
‘Neath hospice sheets he must reside.
Yet still of love he hopes and dreams,
And plans are laid for one last tryst.
Young men have aided in his schemes,
Money ensured she’d not resist.
Blue pills procured, safely taken,
Smiling he feels his passions rise.
Withered flesh begins to waken,
What once lay down praises the skies.
His children come to see him checked,
Coloured with shame ... He died erect!
Oblivion, sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Author notes
This is an entry into “The Grand Champion Challenge 2” in which we were told ...
“For your challenge, you will be writing about an erotic moment that is embarrassing. We all know that anything can and will go wrong sometimes and I want you to write it down all while keeping it erotic.
Your rules are simple.
50 lines or less
plain background
That's it.”
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I thought about sexual embarrassment and how it can occur at any time, this (in my convoluted mind) lead me naturally to “The Seven Ages of Man” by William Shakespeare.
The lines in italics are from the Immortal Bard, the three sonnets are designed to give a glimpse into one man’s life. For those of you who may be interested, the whole of Shakespeare’s piece can be found at http://quotations.about.com/cs/poemlyrics/a/Seven_Ages_Of_M.htm
Oh, and for those of you not up on Shakespearean English (or French for that matter) “sans teeth” etc. means “without teeth”.
P.S. It is exactly 50 lines 
A contest entry
- The Grand Champion Challenge 2 by Master Ktulu.
1400 points, ended December 22, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I could never compete with something this brilliant. You deserve to remain the grand champion. All I can say is that this is fantastic. You always manage to leave me in awe when you write something. Thanks for giving us this powerful poetry.
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Thank you very much for the kind comment B.
Unfortunately I do not seem to have as much time as I did for writing, so it is only in challenges like these that I get spurred into action.
I'm glad you liked it.
(Hope the snow turning to rain in NYC hasn't dulled your enjoyment of being there.)
D
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Sonnets - I should deduct marks for trying to take advantage of me and my passion.
In the style of Shakespeare - I’m in love with you.
The Seven Ages of Man - you got me.
Satirical humour - I’m a quivering jelly.
Stop it! I have got to write a comment on this.
Written true to the Bard's Ages of Man (yes I checked), and beautifully classic in style. Every line capitalized as classical poetry should be, that alone engages my eye before I start to read and enhances the presentation. Shoot me I am a classicist. Erotic humour tastefully done and truly deserving of the perfect score.
I am not going to waste your or my time breaking it down
100 marks.
Jem
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i love this piece you have penned for us and the way you went through the different stages of his life.
spelling and grammar=20
presentation=20
grab me=20
how well you handled the challenge=20
overall=20
total=100 -
wow this is awesome... I wish you all the best in the challenge... love the way it tells the whole story of his life... good luck
cheers
Jen
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oh
This was a nice piece, it brought a nice portion of crooked light to my life, thank you
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Excellent
This is an excellent piece of writing my friend. I loved this piece. Very funny and embarassing indeed. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Countrybabe
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This is very hunorous, especially towards the end. I really liked how you conveyed this and even in form too. Well done there. I do agree with my co-judge about the use of capitals in every line though. Not sure if that is intentional or just an error from using a writing program but nonetheless it's all I see that hurts this write.
spelling and grammar = 17 -
Capitalization of every line.
originality = 20
how well you handled the challenge = 20
As in the past Sir, you have Mastered this challenge.
presentation = 20
overall = 20
Total= 97
**Master Ktulu** -
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Thanks for the 97 points. However, please note my response to Sylvyrwyng below (which answers the question you raised).
Tattboy
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Because I feel that the only reason lines should be capitalized is because of a form, and clearly this is the case with this piece. I am returning the points that I took away for that reason.
spelling and grammar = 20
originality = 20
how well you handled the challenge = 20
presentation = 20
overall = 20
Total= 100
Thank you for pointing this out. Since I am not familiar with the particular form used, I did not know it was written like this.
**Master Ktulu** -
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Thanks for changing the marks (didn't expect that!) was just pointing out that things had been thought through.
Tatt
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I enjoyed this piece immensely but the use of capitals on each line threw me off on several occasions. The originality of the timeline sequence was great and overall this is one piece to savored and brought out again and again for laughs.
spelling and grammar = 17 - the use of capitals on every line throws off the sentence structure of the poem.
originality = 20
how well you handled the challenge = 20 this was a great piece to read and enjoy... the timeline scenario was great!
presentation = 20
overall = 20
total=97
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Thanks for the 97 points. However, here is one of my trademark long responses ...
First of all: it was deliberate to have capital letters at the beginning of each line. As I said in my Author Notes, the inspiration for the piece was Shakespeare’s “Seven Ages Of Man”. Note its structure ...
“All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players,
They have their exits and entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.”
According to Alberto Ríos in “A Capital Idea: Should First Words In Lines Of Poems Be Capitalized?” ...
”Capitalizing the first letter of each beginning word in a line of poetry is traditional, if not contemporary and common.” - This, along with some of the more archaic words that I used, was what I was aiming at in my piece (i.e. using a traditional structure juxtaposed with more modern content).
Ríos goes on to say that “the sonnet may have 14 lines and a variety of other defining aspects, but nowhere do the rules say that the first word of each line in a sonnet particularly must be capitalized. This is probably not because it was unimportant to the form, but rather that it was so strong an unspoken convention in poetry generally that nobody thought to include mention of this practice in any specific rules. And since it was not written into the rules, the contemporary writer has taken this to mean that capitalizing of this sort is not, therefore, one of the rules.”
And ... “Capitalizing the first word in a line is one of the traditional tools of poetry writing, and using or not using it is a decision that a poet should make after some consideration. But whatever the decision, the practice today is clearly personal.”
According to Wikipedia, “A new line can begin with a lowercase or capital letter. New lines beginning with lowercase letters vaguely corresponds with the shift from earlier to later poetry: for example, the poet John Ashbery usually begins his lines with capital letters prior to his 1991 book-length poem Flow-Chart, whereas in and after Flow-Chart he almost invariably begins lines with lowercase letters unless the beginning of the line is also the beginning of a new sentence. There is, however, some much earlier poetry where new lines begin with lowercase letters. Beginning a line with an uppercase letter when the beginning of the line does not coincide with the beginning of a new sentence is called "majusculation".”
One final word; JM Kenyon writes about sonnet forms in “Sonnets II: The English (Shakespearian) Sonnet“http://allpoetry.com/column/show/1696197
“Example of an English Sonnet:
The Procreation Sonnets 1-17 (Sonnet 1)(English Sonnet) by William Shakespeare
oldpoetry.com/poetry/47896
From fairest creatures we desire increase,
That thereby beauty's rose might never die,
But as the riper should by time decease,
His tender heir might bear his memory:”
Again, note the capitalisation ...
So in summary, while I understand that you may not personally like poems that start each line with a capital letter, I did find it strange that you marked me down on ‘Spelling and Grammar’. If you had beefed about it in ‘Presentation’ I would have understood it more.
Tattboy -
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Having spoken with Ktulu about the form and such, I have decided to give you the point that are rightfully due for the form that you used. Thank you for the education on forms and I am happy to learn something new everyday. Thank you for being a great teacher.
spelling and grammar = 20 - the use of capitals on every line throws off the sentence structure of the poem.
originality = 20
how well you handled the challenge = 20 - this was a great piece to read and enjoy... the timeline scenario was great!
presentation = 20
overall = 20
total=100
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Thanks for the extra points (wasn't really expecting that) it's just (I have been told!) that I am a little pedantic ...
Glad you appreciated the information on the Shakesperian sonnet form.
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LOL! Amazing how the different stages through a man's life can account for so much isn't it?
Honestly though i am (once again) aghast at the way You portray the thoughts that run through Your mind: You have given him an amazingly cynical humourous outlook despite his problematic situation!
AMAZING, truly AMAZING!!!
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Somehow, although I am such a positive and open person, My writing sometimes comes out cynical
Glad you enjoyed it My love. -
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i offer my sincerest apologies ... i was under the impression i was leaving a remark on a poem written by 'Tattboy' ... not sure how i got that confused with an 'open person'
and a million
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Uh oh someone is being a smarty!!!!!! lol
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Why...I...oughta!
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