I sit in this room separate from the others
Wrapped up tight under the warm covers.
I am so afraid of confrontation
That I often avoid salutations.
People don't know the "me" caged up inside.
She is so afraid of people that she really always hides.
I sing her the lullaby that usually calms her down
Because she's starting to get scared with all these people around.
What people you might ask, the ones outside the door.
They are always rude to her- nothing ever more.
They try to drown her in a puddle or drive her off a cliff
But I always catch them, almost just as swift.
Loneliness can do that, drive you insane
The very thought of a forest filled with people brings pain.
So, I tell her I'll be brave and bite the apple for us
Unless people, she can ever come to trust.
I turn the knob of this isolated room
And I found that it was never locked.
They knew I'd get over this spell soon.
So, in I was never blocked.
Author notes
EmberedRose
A contest entry
- Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns! by Beautiful-Mistake.
700 points, ended January 16, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Great write. I enjoyed this very much. Good luck in my contest!
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Very nicely done and thank you for your cooperation.
Great take on the prompt - I like it when people take the words and turn them into something completely different than I had in mind.
I sing her the lullaby that usually calms her down
Because she's starting to get scared with these people all around.
Love these line. If I may make a tiny suggestion? It may change how you wanted the line to sound so you are not obliged to change this:
Because she's starting to get scared with [all] these people around.
consider moving the word "all"
I think it improves the flow
Loneliness can do that, drive you insane
But the thought of a forest filled with people brings her lots of pain.
So, I tell her I'll be brave and bite our apple of life for us
Unless she can ever come to trust.
I find this stanza a bit confusing... and a bit hard to read. Consider rephrasing the lines to make them shorter and more in sync with the flow of the poem.
Great Job- sorry for such a long comment- and good luck
I love the title
~Kat
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The revisions that you suggested have been made.
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cool! It definitely helped. Great Job and be proud of this poem!
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hmmmm prompts for you....
spell
apple
forest
lullaby
isolated
puddle
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Do we have to use those words in our actual poem or just as a prompt alone?
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you must use the words in the poem itself. they do not have to be in that order though
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