There's a place
on a women's lovely neck
a hollow spot
at the base of the throat
where shadows fall
it's shaped by tendons and flesh
a congress of collar bones
I think...where angels live
when she swallows it dances
and when she laughs
it shines like the sun
at the hint of smile
it grows... w i d e r
a tempest of moods
this dimple of soul
a no man's land
of porcelain sculpture
...where lips rarely trace
and when she cries
it grows d e e p e r
a canyon of sorrow
a taste of ash and salt
her baby rests her head here
perfect sleepy lips
soft breaths
gather here
Author notes
This space is called the supersternal notch. -c
In a list
A contest entry
- Poem of the Year - POY - by Bear by Arkbear.
12500 points, ended January 1, 41 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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WOW!
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I like the way the first two happy verses set up the next two sadder verses and that all sets up the poignant ending, it has an introduction, a middle and an end. I think it would have been better without the 'I think'
and all done in the third person. I liked the way you made your wider wider and imitated it with the word deeper, (after much searching I've decided that's called visual poetry! )
The line I liked best is 'a congress of collar bones' probably because it is full of poetic devices and overall I liked the middle verse most. (Although the last verse is quite catchy.) -
Probably the best one of yours I've read.
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Tenderly beautiful my friend...one can feel the soft shadows reflecting from the passionate giving kiss of love's lips. And, to honor such feminity with acknowledgement of other places of devine design is indeed a nice compliment. A blooming piece of poetry
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How true
Your last two lines:' soft breaths
gather here'
The access point when the throat is blocked
Tracheotomy for breath to clear
It leaves a scar but life is unlocked
At nineteen would not cede a gift so dear
When vanity cries; I just grow a beard.
Thank you for reminding me to be grateful for life.
Bob 42
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Beautiful - the English Patient, wasn't it? Your imagery made this neck alive, really nicely written. I like the fourth stanza the best.
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This is a very well written and beautiful poem. Too bad the overall effect is vitiated by the easy-to-fix technical eccentricities.
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Wonderful. There is a great tenderness to this poem and it's easy to see how it won bronze in the POY. One of my favourites of yours, poet!
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Interesting write. Good flow and the spacing gives it a nice effect. Never really read anything like this before, it was very good. I enjoyed reading it ^^
~Lae
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Beautifully...
...written, Chuck!
I never wondered about that place because I usually get smacked before I get there!
Great poem!
John
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Maybe it's just me, but i got the sense that the piece doesn't or at least shouldn't end there. Although that doesn't affect its flow or beauty, just allows the reader to keep writing in his head and add a personal touch to the poem.
Nice piece.
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Very good!
I definetly like your style of writing. In some ways it reminds of the old Tristania lyrics.
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Excellent
A very fine write, indeed. You have expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
short, good job
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short, good job
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and when she cries
it grows d e e p e r
a canyon of sorrow
a taste of ash and salt
interesting use of spacing.
i enjoyed this unusual take on poetry. -
sigh...this is beautiful. I agree, the neck is one of the most beautiful [and sensual if I may say] part of a woman's body
Congrats on the Bronze
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Wow, this is excellent! Great idea...that little dip where the collar bones meet, how profound a prose!
I was really intrigued throughout...your poetry is always very 'spoken', i call it, which means that I could almost hear you speak it aloud, and feel it within.
Lovely, thanks for sharing.
Tammy x
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Congrats on the Bronze!
I must say, I'm very happy with the poems taking the top 3 spots in the POY...all were (or would have been, if I'd been able to complete judging
) in my top 10. You've created a lovely tone with your words, fitting for the subject and with a smooth flow to accompany it. I have only a few, mostly nit-picky things that you may or may not want to think about changing now that the contest is over and you're officially allowed to make changes. 
As Freed by Mercy pointed out, I believe "angles" should have been "angels" ?
Secondly...this is largely personal preference...but if you aren't using punctuation OR capital letters to give the reader an idea of where to pause or stop...why begin with that one, lonely, capitol "T" ? I didn't find the lack of punctuation hurt this, but on the other hand...there's a good possibility adding some (or even just capped letters) would benefit the poem. But again...just MO.
Lastly...
"her baby rests her head here"
I found this to be a bit of a tongue twister when I read it out loud. Also, "here" is the last word in two lines for that stanza...putting more emphasis on that particular word, which isn't the lasting impression you want to leave your readers with. Moreover...I felt like the entire poem up until the last stanza talked about "a woman" in general...then the last stanza with "her baby" made me switch gears and think it was a singular woman, or one in particular...if that make any sense? 
I guess using "babies", plural...or "a baby" even...would have been more consistent with S1..."A place where babies' heads rest" might be an alternative to consider...
Hopefully those few things don't make it sound like I'm tearing such a beautiful write apart; that is definitely not my intention...in fact I'd like to add this to my personal list of favorite poetry by other poets. But, please let me know if you'd rather not have it there and I'll take it off.
Congrats again and best wishes in the New Year!
~J.
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Beautiful!
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Beautifully written with lovely images and a unique theme. Congrats on the bronze!
Last line, stanza 1 :"angles" or "angels"?
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Aloha and congratulations!
I'm so glad this made the top three! One of my favorites from the very first time I read it!
Beautiful tone!
Write on!
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Most unique!
Well done!
Congrats on the Bronze!
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Absolutely brilliant! This plays out like one of those old movies..
A trophy well deserved!
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I thought this poem was very very touching and with the baby nestling in there atthe end was super sweet. I suppose many peopl have their own way of looking at things. I personally don't mind poems that have no punctuation, because i believe if they are written well, it will not matter. Spaceing between letters is done to give emphasis where needed, and i take this inot account because someone does it for reason. My view is this piece was superbly written and worthy of being a winner. I don't know whether judging is finished or not...but if not, you have my best wishes.
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I shall agree and disagree with a fellow judge, the lack of punctuaution is fine here, none is needed the lines do the job, I think though you should go the whole hog and lose the ellipses too, I do agree about hating the s p a c e d out words, will definitely count against this for me in the style area.
Forgetting the nitpicking and nicities The theme and the poetry are excellent, great stuff
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Hi, and welcome to the POY
This is definitely one of the better entries in this contest at this point. The imagery is astounding, and your use of poetic device is excellent as well; several lovely visuals, and line after line of stellar verbiage really roped me in!
The only thing that ruined the moment somewhat was that the end seemed a little cliffhanger; the last line didn't have the air of finality that usually punches the reader in the gut.
Overall, a great effort by you! Well done, and good luck!
Laura
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Such a lovely Poetic Voice and talents to spare ~
You had me believeing I was actually there....feeling....touching....surrending to this place you have created ~
Your imagery and visuals are superb......I believe this wil make the 10 top spots....if not, there must be some INCREDIBLE talent aftwer this......but for me.....one of the top 3 I have read out of 11.....very nice job....thanks for bringing your best (please don't say this is not your best, it would ruin what I have just read here).....good luck & God bless,
Bear ~
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Hi there and welcome to the POY I did like this poem I am not fond of spacing letters in words that distracts me and so does the lack of punctuation I did not know where to slow down so I had to go back and make my own stopping spots where I knew punctuation should be at.Remember no editing once a judge has touched your work.
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Aloha and Welcome to POY!
I love this! But , I am only one of many judges...lol...so far it is in the running...the only criticism I would have is you used "and" in at least two places, where it could easily be left out...and enhance the poetic tone...just MHO
Thanks again, for a great entry....so tenderly written...
Best wishes in the contest and always!
Write on and on!
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Excellent poem, unique and well written,
good luck in the contest,
regards,
Floorboards.
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Oh what a truly beautiful piece of poetry. Your imagery is absolutely superb here. I want to quote the entire piece, but instead, I will bookmark. In my mind, this deserves gold.
Love, Lane
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Beautiful Sentiments...
Wishing you the best of luck in the contest!!! Peace, Cyn
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lovely!
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Very unique i like how the words flow the poem in interesting i like the last stanza best
~GOOD LUCK~
*Mystal* -
CS
A very delicate spot. Very well written.
Joe
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BEAUTIFUL
This is a beautiful poem, it has a softness about it that make me sigh. The imagery is perfect and word choices wonderful...very romantic.
All the best in the contest...Sue
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