♦
you defy convention, but
in subtle ways she could
never understand. you began
writing lefthanded to mock
her psuedo-creativity, only
to have her smile at your little
idiosyncrasies.
and you mistakenly proved her
right, with your insistence that
multicoloured guitars play
shades of notes that nobody
but you can hear.
♦
you can attribute the heady
mood-swings to the windows
that let in too-bright sunbeams,
or the breakfast that she
poured too-sweet syrup on.
but you will never follow her
logical reasoning that the only
'too-adjective' noun is you.
♦
and when you are older than
you are now, and still in love,
time will blow a cool mist
over your memories of today
and colour them happy.
♦
Author notes
Writing: http://www.nibs.com/www/WEBSITE%20PICS/Left_hand_writers_images/wPat%20left%20hand%20writing%20LA%20show.JPG
Breakfast: http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/brunch-and-breakfast-tips-7.jpg
Window: http://www.acadiawindows.com/picts/HomeWindow-exp.jpg
Guitar: http://uk.gizmodo.com/wave_guitar.jpg
Mist: http://www.weatherpicturesweatherphotos.net/weather-picture-photo-mist-rain-RedDeath.jpg
A contest entry
- Treasure Hunt --x by Noir mariposa...x.
550 points, ended January 14, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thank you for reading & commenting
Comments
-
"and you mistakenly proved her
right, with your insistence that
multicoloured guitars play
shades of notes that nobody
but you can hear."
I'm not sure what I can say about this but... wow
This is amazing, i loved the flow and the stanza's, really one of the best reads I've read in a while ^^
Thanks for your entry, I wish you the best of luck!
Claire x
-
I like...
Your picture album must be of colors and lace and total backgrounds of unrelated things. heh...Diverse is your thinking. I really liked this piece. But, I thought "coo" in line three of the last stana might look and express more emotion as "warm"?
I thought you gave weight to the title too as the work has theat timeless in betwen feeling and the final strophe captures it all too...Just some thoughts. :-) I like it! :-) yao
-
-
The "cool" is needed there because it is calming the heat of their arguments
thank you for your lovely comment!
♦
-
-
Ello
Your words are the following::
-- Writing
-- Breakfast
-- Window
-- guitar
-- Mist
Good luck xx
Adding your comment:
