Fumbling with rivets to fasten stretched denim
just raises the temper,
and prolongs these sad mornings.
Her cubicle now vacant, a firing of needles;
the threads came unwoven,
her fibers distressed.
Since day one she smiled, then spilled out a life
of children in evenings,
and lukewarm laundry midnights.
Soft gossip of neighbors, a spouse in gang leather.
Money is for the foolish,
preferring biscuits and soaps.
As earlobes flooded, I became sympathetic.
Her chest rose with passion,
as her throat sung heartache.
Spent a night in the tavern, writing a journey,
in which we traveled the world
driven by a lust chauffeur.
Rose from bed early, and folded inked napkins,
eyes set to our factory,
legs forced me outside.
I need an answer for my new addiction.
She needed a savior
to spend a life in release.
Yet her assigned table was washed empty.
Rumors of not meeting quotas;
must have been slacking.
So as I fumble with rivets to fasten stretched denim,
I hope the boss remains talkative
as I pull out my gun.
Author notes
POY
fabric factory worker misses his fellow employee
A contest entry
- Poem of the Year - POY - by Bear by Arkbear.
12500 points, ended January 1, 2009, 41 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Not bad ...
and you certainly do have a way of finding ever more esoteric things to write about.
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Yep, this works for me, unusual theme, narrative, reflective.
Good writing all round.
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Hi Ryan, and welcome to the POY
This is not the first poem I've read by you, but I have to say, you've matured so much since entering my Darkwrite challenge last year. I'm amazed, really
This has a great storyline, and as Bear said, I thoroughly enjoyed the journey through the cubicles with you. Well done, and good luck!
Laura
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Creative....lots of *Show & Tell*....a great balance of each ~
I think you went abstract on me for just a while....but not bad ~
This has a great Stroyline inside....lots of visual affects for me to grab hold of ~
Each S* held so much power.....soft, yet powerful in ponderous thought ~
Not much to critique here.....I enjoyed the journey walking beside you as I peeked into each cubicle....well done....good luck & God bless you,
Bear ~
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Hi there and welcome to the POY I found this to be interesting and left me with a smile here and there this is a theme that I have not seen before. Remember no editing once a judge has touched your work.
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This is a great poem, love the imagery and unique theme, I sincerely hope you do well in this, you deserve to,
regards,
Floorboards.
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The ending it a bit weird i get the whole guy missing some1, but don't really get the ending
~GOOD LUCK~
*Mystal* -
Aloha ha ha ha!
I knew there would be a "big bang" there somewhere...lol......
Nice to see your entry in the contest!
Thanks so much for making me laugh, again. Best wishes in the contest and always.
Write on!
REMEMBER: NO editing once a judge has commented!
My scores will appear in final notes…
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