Yesterday

It feels like it was just yesterday
That you were only an thought in my head.

Now you're the aching in my heart
a memory that makes me twinge in regret.

How could I let myself be in love with someone like you?

It seems like just yesterday
That I would have thought better of myself.

Somehow you had the ability
to overpower my individuality.

How could I let go of something that was such a huge part of me?

It was just yesterday
That I had the chance to be with someone who thought better of me.

But because of who I am
because of you I said no.

How I could willingly make such a stupid mistake?

It feels like just yesterday
that I didn't have the inclination for resentment.

But it fills my soul
controlling my mind.

How could someone survive feeling so vile?

It seems like just yesterday
that I was just struggling not to feel guilty if I wasn't perfect for you...to be everything that you wanted...to be the girl you would love...

I wasn't good enough.

I could have straightened my hair everyday, and smiled all the time, and been ready for sex whenever you wanted it, and never let my life get me down, or let the way you didn't really care about me as person bother me but I'm a girl with a heart and a brain.

I deserve better.

You broke me.

I can't look in the mirror without immediately looking away.

It seems like just yesterday
that I would have thought that
I was strong enough to tell
you where you should go.

But yesterday is just another day like today.

The day will come when I can breathe again without thinking about sucking in my stomach or wondering what I could do to make you happy.

At the end of each day, I will slowly gain back a part of me that I lost to you...


One day all those yesterdays I lost myself will just be a memory.