i.
the taste of the wind
comes and makes the leaves dance,
wave hello
and goodbye when they part-
hello mother, hello father
and roots and soil,
when this sun is gone
will it be only us again?
or will your branches rubbed bare
flower and sing magic
into new cells?
ii.
the sinews of earth
speak loud.
I have witnessed only
a fraction of a heartbeat,
where the flesh contracts,
the sunlight grows bright
and the leaves fall quietly
onto the grass.
the smell of it---
moist and pungent,
speaks softer, in whispers
that run like currents
through the earth's arteries.
iii.
this is my life, condensed
into a single flick of the eyelids.
I am blind when night comes
for the trees and their children,
blind and deaf as a fallen leaf,
but nothing heavy.
breaking, wilting...
wilting until it is just us and God again.
Author notes
"Nothing beautiful is safe- everything wilts in time" -Naridill
exalted
title- a song by Digital Ivy. it seemed to fit.
A contest entry
- Mental Asylum [INVITE ONLY] by Never Fall in Love.
1750 points, ended June 11, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mental Asylum [invite only] by Never Fall in Love.
1750 points, ended June 16, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I'm not sure if I realy liked the first vignette - it just sounds very loose which is quite different from the intensity of the other two vignettes.
I really do love the rest though - especially the end.
-
I read this four times in a row...
I think this.. wondrous.
Such beautiful simplicity woven thru air and artery. Excellently crafted, I adore the verse structure; like a tree... supported from branch to leaf to limb again.
Fabulous close.
Well done, Barry Lee Koherant
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I think if "comes" were "come" it would be more poetic- like you talking to the wind... but then you'd have to change "they" to "you"... and "your branches" to "branches"... same with the sinews of earth- you could be speaking to them... but then you'd have to reevaluate the entire third stanza, where you weave in the wilting...
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nice way to approach the challenge. loved the last line of section 2. section3 summed it all up ever so organically. but a bit unsure of what you're sayin in the beginnin of section 3....oh wait...never mind ...i get it. very nice
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