Every single step…
Every single leap…
Every move I do…
Every thought I think..
I feel its you.
Seventeen years , I spent with you..
Were like a dream,
I want to scream.
The rebound of your voice…
The flurry of my tears…
They dull my feeling
Deep inside in my heart,
I am really hurt
Its calling you, my Dad
It needs to lay,
Between your arms…
To feel safe…
To forget my pain…
I am struggling,
To adapt living without you, my Dad
To keep on the path you put us on…
Everyday in my dreams,
You pay me a visit..
Tell me its ok
And keep on your faith
You hug me and promise
That we will meet…
To live happily ever after!
- Hopeless Romantics come together group list • next in list
A contest entry
- ~~ Break Me Down ~~ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
615 points, ended December 26, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP FAMILY! by Shades of Pale.
560 points, ended December 31, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Win $50, and be published in the next Allpoetry Book! by Kevin.
400 points, ended January 15, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - big bang prewrites only contest by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 5, 124 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 17000+ Points for your Best - Effort by Ken-Maverick.
10000 points, ended January 15, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - We understand death for the first time when he puts his hand upon one whom we love. ~Madame de Stael by Mak.
625 points, ended January 22, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites! by movedon.
1750 points, ended May 8, 363 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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A MOving Piece
I feel the same longing for my dad. As I was reading this, I couldn't help but be moved. I've never lived with my dad and I only met him maybe twice or thrice in my whole life. I've always and will always long for dad's embrace D: -
This is so sad and so heartfelt. This is an amazing write.
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I agree with Meroza on their comment. This is a very astounding poem you have here full of emotions and full of longing for your Dad. I'm sorry that you lost him and I pray that you will find strength when you fear you have none. God bless you always in everything you write and do, and keep up the wonderful work and congratulations on the two trophies you've won for this.
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This truly is full of emotions, and you should keep the many memories you have of him in your heart and watch over them when the grief it taking its tall.
A well penned poem and a good dedication to your dad.
My score is 6/10
Best of luck
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I have already commented this poem before, and I'm still on my last opinion.
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Thanks!
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Lovely and emotional. What a most difficult think to endure. Your pain seeps from your words.
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pretty, good work
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Beautiful, so sad... but at least you have got to spend 17 wonderful years with your dad and that's something nobody can ever take from you, memories will always be there and you will always hold him close.
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Hmm... I can relate to the feeling of missing the father here since mine left when i was 10 months old, as life has its funny ways im now living with him as of two months ago, but thats another story for maybe never... 0.o anyhow, i think you converyed emotion brilliantly in this piece. I think you expressed yourself wonderfully.
Laura. -
also, YOU DESERVE THESE
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This is a very good poem.
I like the flow of the words.
The rhyming is very subtle and the poem itself radiates with the love you had for your father.
I only wish when my father dies, I would feel the same. -
Ahh, you made me cry..Which means that its very touching and very well written. I like it. Alot.
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Amazing poem, i miss my dad too
Great choice of words, i like this poem alot
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Thanks alot!
so we both miss our fathers!
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OMG!
It's really fantastic, it's very deep and it's coming right from the bottom of your heart. I love the flow & that rhyming touch you put in the first few lines. It's correct that lovely memories stay in the heart forever and that you can still feel each and every little moment of them like it's happening now.
Take care
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