Boy child you left me smiling in the sickening
wake of your absence,
lethargically lamenting
what you'd done to me.
It took seven days
for the message to take root,
the point of our last conversation
always escaping me.
I'm sorry,
I'm slow...
Holding my head underwater bathing under rainfall and moonlight
all starry eyed and leaky
I realize.
Boy child you made a fool of me.
When I was sweetly
swaddled in my impregnable indifference
you made me come out all sunshine smiling,
all happy humming,
all black-man blushing.
When there was you there was feeling
in my numb parts.
When you looked down to me
I could see the corner of the smile of a nameless
God,
thought to be long since dead,
right behind your left ear.
We were two phantoms of psychic, bohemian darkness
radiating wild style on the night's plutonian shores.
We were two golems of wood
tower high above mortal men.
I was boom and you were bang.
You were the wound on the heart of our generation
and I was the blood that seeped from you.
Boy child you left me smiling numb,
spitting on the subjective all man weary.
the pieces themselves are too small to pick up
let alone put back together;
though they still do shimmer like wildfire in the distance
when i see you
from time to time.
Author notes
The ViceRoy
A contest entry
- What Would You Say To Your Ex? by Priya1989.
600 points, ended January 23, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
-
Hi there
Thank you so much for your wonderfuly poignant and melacholic entry into my contest.
I loved certain images in this piece, it was rather breathtaking to say the least. And the wonderful, uncommon words you use here and there with accuracy and intent sounded great also.
These are the parts and lines I liked specifically in your poem:
Line 3: Wonderful
Line 11 & 12: Such beautiful imagery
Line 15 & 16: Like the wording.
Line 20 & 21: Could feel this.
Line 27 - 30: What use of wonderful and obscure words here. I love this.
Line 32 & 33: Amazing.
The last stanza: Absolutely brilliant haunting and thought-provoking.
Thank you for entering my contest and best of luck with your poem
-
"the pieces themselves are too small to pick up
let alone put back together;
though they still do shimmer like wildfire in the distance
when i see you
from time to time."
amazing.
Adding your comment:
