he loves me;
our feet dangle by the side of the pool,
he's wearing his hollister shorts
and I'm wearing his t-shirt.
his sunbleached hair and tanned abs look so inviting,
but how can I compare to that?
he leans over, whispers into my ear
'you know you look beautiful when your forehead crinkles,'
as a sidenote he adds
'what are you thinking about'
then he kisses my eyes, my nose, my lips and waits for a response.
I was so shaken that I forgot;
so I said what he wanted to hear 'you have beautiful eyes'
then I remembered.
.
he loves me not;
I remembered that his eyes are blue
and his favourite color is yellow.
both are primary colors,
and when combined they make green.
my eyes are green and my favourite color is purple;
secondary colors. I always was second best, I still am.
he leaves the pools edge to talk to the bonde-haired lifeguard.
and I think he forgot that I have his shirt,
otherwise he would've asked for it back.
.
he loves me
he handed me a daisy a couple days later and said sorry
I asked why, and instantly regretted it.
his lips closed shut, and he pretended he forgot how to speak.
-he knew I wanted him to say sorry, but he didn't know why.
the petals fell down around our feet,
creating a white heart-shaped box holding us together.
he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me
I whispered quietly as the last petal fell,
he loves me
I was happy.
.
he loves me not
he had a daisy and was slowly picking the petals off of it,
slowly, the same way you would rip off a fly's wings.
it was much too painful for me too watch,
especially when I counted the petals
and saw there was an even number.
even number's are nots
he smiled and walked away.
I was left with a ring of dirty, dying, white flower petals
and I didn't have a bucket to collect them.
I started counting butterflies and their even-numbered wings.
I cried
my lucky number is seven; odd numbers mean I love you.
Author notes
I'm confused.
someone save me, please.
In a list
- honorable mention; • next in list
- silver; • next in list
- bronze; • next in list
- gold; • next in list
A contest entry
- favorites!!!! by written-in-ink.
700 points, ended January 3, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - anything and every thing by Black Rose Reaper.
466 points, ended December 22, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - And I still haven't found what I'm looking for... by kill the lights.
875 points, ended January 10, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - big bang prewrites only contest by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 5, 124 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - COME ONE! COME ALL! QUICKY FOR 200 PEOPLE! by Umi Juvariel.
800 points, ended January 21, 53 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Have Lost My Muse! Please Send Me Your Best! by Nicada.
800 points, ended February 11, 24 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - want me to indulge you? okay, I will. by broken-colours.
1750 points, ended October 13, 149 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best of the Best!! by DramaQueen469.
2000 points, ended June 8, 37 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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this is sososososososo amazing...i think there is a typo? it says "bonde-haired" and i think it should be blonde.
but anyways, i absolutely love this. bookmarking. congrats on the hundreds of trophies.
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wow this this is great
the way you have worded this piece and the way it flows, makes it a brilliant piece. so many can relate
i love how its based around the petals *loves me, loves me not*
im sure every girl has done this at least once in their life time
overall i loved it
keep it up
kmp -
This is a stunning write; well-deserving of its trophies! I love the imagery and emotion... just beautiful
Thankyou so much for entering this piece, and I wish you the best of luck!
Maria
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Bravo Emma!
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WOW WOW WOW!
this deserves all the trophies in the world. this is such a creative poem, and i love how your words were crafted.
PERFECT!
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oh wow
thanks
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man so many trophies!!!!
hahah
seriously
do you realze how talented you are
because do you see all of these trophies
hahaha -
How sad....
Absolutely beautiful, though.
No wonder you have all those trophies... this is seriously beautiful.
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thankss
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Very nicely done...
How you expose hidden emotions so subtly... I like that. I really like this >> "... and I think he forgot that I have his shirt,
otherwise he would've asked for it back,"
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Congratulations on winning the bronze and all the other trophies! I enjoyed reading this poem, part story, part inner thought. It's well set out. The first stanza is in present tense, while the others are in past tense, you might want to revise that.
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thanks
yea i always have problems with my tenses.. i'll try working on it
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Wow! This is so beautifully written, and it is a very unique poem. I love all the creative imagery you have used here. This is amazing, keep on writing! Very nice! Thanks so much for entering. Blessings, Patty
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thanks for the comment and the bronze
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Wow.
Congrats on all the shiny trophies, love.
You definitely deserve them with this one.
Never say you're a bad poet! Because that simply isn't true.
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thanksssss
<3
and you're amazing too
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I loved the play on the flower petals. This was a great piece. I often think the same things, but you need to remember things always get better if you let them. Just let them get better. Great piece and good luck in my contest!
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thanks for the trophy
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this is beautiful
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wow
I love this, I don't know way else to say your extemely talanted
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thanks
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very amazing
my love
you have a way with words
no joke.
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this is beyond beautiful.
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beautiful. really.
thanks,
dh -
I was so shaken that I forgot;
so I said what he wanted to hear 'you have beautiful eyes'
then I remembered.
.
he loves me not;
LOVE THE THING WITH EVEN AND ODD NUMBERS
i don't think you realize how alike we are.
like i feel like this is about me, which i know it's not lol but it's just so much like something i would write.
it's beautifuller though.
and i know that's not a word
but still.
it's so amazing -
our feet dangle by the side of the pool,
he's wearing his hollister shorts
and I'm wearing his t-shirt.
his sunbleached hair and tanned abs look so inviting,
but how can I compare to that?
dont you just love wearing boys clothes?
for some reason, it makes me feel safe.
I remembered that his eyes are blue
and his favourite color is yellow.
both are primary colors,
and when combined they make green.
my eyes are green and my favourite color is purple;
secondary colors. I always was second best, I still am.
i love how you used the colors as metaphors, very clever.
----
this poem is amazing.
im always jealous of people that can tell a story with their poetry.
and im definetly jealous
of you.
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thanks
glad you liked it!!
and yea, boys clothes do feel safe
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so beautifully written and so immensely sad... my heart feels broken when reading this... what a great write to pass on such a powerful feeling to the reader as if it's happening to them as well...my heart pleads for you in hopes that you will find someone worthy...with odd numbers...
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thanks
..i hope so too :S
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"a flies wings." ---> "a fly's wings"
"too watch" ---> "to watch"
"even number's are not's" ---> "even numbers are nots"
I loves this, it's beautiful but all sad
I think you're awesome xD
Shelly
x
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well, except for the to/too i always do that lmfao
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hahahaha
Yeah, I'm just REALLY anal bout that kinda stuff.
I'm gonna judge my contest in about 15/20 mins after I get all cozy after a shower haha -
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honestly so am i, so i get really pissed at myself when i make a mistake
so when i say thanks for catching that i MEAN it
lol
enjoy your shower
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3 mistakes
thats the most ive ever done.. like ever
this is what happens when i dont write on ms word blaah
thanks for catching them
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