Spinning now the leaves do dance,
Upon the howling wind.
Wandering with a backward glance,
Thoughts that we have sinned.
Harshly calling the sound of night,
To touch me now in hope.
Falling deftly from the heights,
Learning now to cope.
Calm the sight that tells the tale,
That tears our world apart.
Gently rending now the veil,
Inside my well worn heart.
Author notes
Got going and couldn't stop i overshot on the word count I was thinking 30 lines. Sorry
A contest entry
- 'a bored at work' QUICKIE #3 by etoile.
575 points, ended December 17, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Ah..judging the self with the help of the self is a typical task..but you did it..and wonderfully done here..touching story you revealed...
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since you went over the wordcount you can't place in this contest, plus i said left align only and no rhyme, you broke all the rules...
overall it was a nice poem, im not so fond of rhyme but this was well done. the imagery is beautiful i like the last stanza.
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i love the rhythm of this poem and the wording is awesome and i learned a new word "rending" good word
this poem is like my life and conflict between what i feel is right and what im told is sins and learning to balance my heart so i really feel it. WTG Gramma 


Liz


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Definitely not 30 words but this is a good poem. I really liked the flow.
My favorite stanza is
"Harshly calling the sound of night,
To touch me now in hope.
Falling deftly from the heights,
Learning now to cope."
Very good!




