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Serenity

Missing image

Serenity

 

God, I am asking what's wrong with me?

I have a problem as you can see.

It's been my reality time and again

fighting this battle I never win.

I can't change the past it always will be

and this addiction I have is hell to me.

I try to be good but it don't last to long

the cravings I feel dominate strong.

Shadowed by darkness no one else sees

they don't understand these ties holding me.

Is it worth living this torturous pain?

Got nothing to lose got nothing to gain.

My body is aching my soul needs a rest

my mind is screaming to get out of this mess.

There's no where to run to and no place to hide

this pain is all mine til the day that I die.

So, please take me now for I'm ready to go

release these chains I can no longer hold.

My serenity lies under a concrete stone

lay me in peace as I travel home.

Author notes

Written March 8th, 2002

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 30 of 30
  • Destiny Fate
    June 30
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    Good job.

  • the-outhouse-poet
    September 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Yes,I know every emotion it brings,I also know the urge to have it.I wished so many times that I had never laid eyes on it,But that can't happen now, so I keep right on.One problem I face now that I'm single, is finding someone that I don't have to hide it from, Someone worth finding,if yo know what I mean, Theres plenty of them out there that will help you do it. The only thing we don't mention in our poems is how great it can make you feel, but most people wouldn't understand. This was A great poem...


  • July 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    a wonderful poetic filled scream of passion and pain.


  • forgotten dream
    July 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this is a great piece, that is filled with emotion. it flows really well, and evokes descriptive images. great job, and good luck <3


  • teardrop gold member
    July 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Serenity,
    Again, thank you for your encouraging reply. I don't share these poems about my addiction often. I like to keep that buried deep. But when i saw your contest, I had to enter. Grreat topic.

    Rene'


  • teardrop gold member
    July 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Jackie,
    Thank you for your reply. Yes, I guess it would take one to have been there themselves to fully understand this piece as you did so well. Thank you,

    TD


  • teardrop gold member
    July 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    razor,
    Thank you for your encouraging reply. I am just glad I have my writtings to release my pain or I would have no release at all. Again thank you.

    TD


  • SerenityNChains gold member
    July 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this is a fabulouys write and you succeeded in making my decision harder now.Fabulous flow and imagery.Just what i was seeking.So descriptive.Best of luck and blessed be

    ~~Serenity~~


  • Jacki D
    July 1, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    I felt that this comes from someone who knows the throws of addiction well.Having done the struggle myself I thought that you summed it all up.You caught all the the emotions of being on that Hell-Bound Train.Good luck with everything and this contest. Jacki


  • razorbladechaos
    April 24, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much for your entry. This was the kind of thing I was looking for indefinately. Amazing write, filled with emotion and turmoil. I'm sorry that this is really how you feel though, hopefully when you need help it's there for you. Once again, thanks for the entry...good luck!

  • teardrop gold member
    April 8, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Britt,
    Thank you for your reply. This was written from the heart.

    TD


  • teardrop gold member
    April 8, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Dreaming,
    Thank you sop much for your heartfelt reply. Yes, this was defiantly written from a drug addict, me. Written from the sincerity of my heart.

    TD


  • notmissperfect
    April 8, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    wow that kind of made me sad. i dont know if you were trying for that but it did. very awesome poem. i liked how it seemed like it was right out of your heart feelings. very nice work

    -britt


  • DrEaMiNgBeTwEeN
    April 8, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Depressing & Moving

    I love this poem. i entered this contest as well, but yours kick's mine's ass. I love every way you used your words and feeling in this poem. simply brilliant. i really like this a lot. and if that is non-fiction, or biographical... I sympathize with you... very much so. Talk with me anytime. We all could use a stranger's ear, or helping hand cause sometimes it's just easier than going to someone you love or know well. Good luck, and remember that writing is the best thearapy there is. Thank you for letting others inside of your secret.


  • teardrop gold member
    April 7, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Kay,
    Thank you for your reply to my poem. I however am so thankful that if though it was pure hell, I am finally free from the demon which held my soul for so long. Thank you so very much.

    TD

  • KayMMIV
    April 7, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this poem is so true on how everyone fighting addiction has felt at some point or another, it really conveys the emotion really well. it has a great flow to it, i really like it, could completly relate, thank you for sharing it.

  • teardrop gold member
    March 29, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Isa,
    Thank you for your sincere reply.

    TDggggggg


  • isa
    March 29, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering my contest. WOW, this is the type of poem i was kind of looking for. Its how you honestly feel about your own drug addiction...i admire that. great wirte. and good luck with the contest.
    -Isa


  • Ladybug
    January 31, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for your entry
    I can fully see your battle you expressed so well.

    Tamara


  • teardrop gold member
    December 15, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Brittany,
    Thank you for your reply.I too am sorry you experienced such pain yourself but glad to hear you're on the right road to recovery.

    Best wishes!!
    TD

  • DaRk AnGeL04
    December 14, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry that you ever felt this way before. I know what it feels like! I've wiched myself gone many nights, just because I couldn't take the pain in my life any longer. I used to think that the best solution to everything was taking out my trusty razorblade, and cutting on my arms, but then I got but into the hospital for it, and it scared me, sO i've not done it since then. Never hurt yourself, and never wish yourself dead! Life is too great a thing to be wishing away. Think of all the people that you would be hurting if you actually did go through with anything like that. God Bless you!
    Later
    Brittany


  • teardrop gold member
    December 11, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Allison,
    Love the name (it's my daughter-on-laws name) lol. Thank you for your reply. Yes, I feel this captured myaddiction at the time very well. Drug addiction is hell. Again, thank you!

    TD

  • suicidaldream05
    December 11, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    wow. Nice write! you captured a lot of feelings in this. The rhyme scheme was good too. Thank you for entering and good luck! Keep up the awesome writing! Happy Holidys!:-)

    <3,
    Alison


  • poeticweaver gold member
    September 18, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    I think it's important to write when it serves us best.
    True feelings are truly displayed well in this poem.
    Thanks for sharing as always!
    -Timothy


  • Dreamweaver silver member
    June 7, 2002
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    Truly an excellent revelation of inner emotions...
    I like this one very much, Teardrop
    Sammy


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    March 29, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, gosh. Candid, remarkably honest. Sad, but I sure understand the hold that substance or behavior can have on one. It's a struggle daily. Just keep giving it up to God. He's able when we're not. Bless you for this very good read! CookieZeal/DB

  • PixieoftheNightsky
    March 9, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    that's a beautiful poem, i can feel the passion, addiction is not easy to deal with, i hope that you can get better, and live an free life without being chained to your whatever it is, addiction.
    - PiXXiE


  • teardrop gold member
    March 8, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    mel and cinara,
    Thank you for the read and critiqes. Yes, I feel ALOT better now. Thanks, teardrop

  • Cinara
    March 8, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    An interesting portrait of what goes through the mind of someone who is addicted. Gosh, the hopelessness and dispair in your writing, THis is an eye opener and thank you for writing it

  • melmac
    March 8, 2002
    Edit | Reply
    I hope that you feel better now than you did then - It's strange that I read this piece now, 'cause last night I had a dream in a similar style, but I didn't end up under concrete, thankfully!
    Nice piece of work, I look forward to reading some more...

1 - 30 of 30