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Whiskey Lullaby


through the smokey haze
and flickering neon lights of
a place he refers to as home

sightless myopic eyes
attempt to vainly focus

while the jukebox plays a whiskey lullaby

A contest entry

neon lights...

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Swan song gold member
    January 13

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    Bravo!!!!! Your work is always a treasure but it ended too soon!!!!! This is a poem that needs to go deeper into the train wreck of this broken soul.

    You poem makes me scream for more and that is a reflection of your talent!


  • mysticstorm gold member
    December 17, 2008

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    WOW! This is brillant...very different from your norm, but still wonderful...love the imagery and metaphor...congrat's on the trophy.
    Love,


  • Lavender Butterfly silver member
    December 17, 2008
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    deeply engaging... x