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The Ageing Youth

Dry, withered
as time,
an ageing youth,
beauty now dust,
mourning her
sepulcher suddenly
saw her image,
but realized
it was a blur
of his tears
from the harsh winds. 

A contest entry

Critiques please. Good and bad. I can't improve without your help.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • etoile
    December 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i really like this one. the imagery is amazing. and this flows very well and is written very well in so few words. i like the story behind this.

    thanks for entering and goodluck


  • Jd17
    December 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful wording and imagery! i love it!!