the human condition and me

i depend on touch at this age
language is brief and rehearsed to a large degree
  words are quick sentiment
  meant to soothe injured confidence... meant to strip away confusion...
                to connect one's self to another
          sans physical contact;
        but this is nothing  but a glorified phone call none of us have the balls to place.

are you receiving me?.... am i coming through clear?

touch matters to me
  not as a romantic gesture or feminine day-dream...
      but as proof  of comfort
                                kindness
                                concern
                                desire
                                need...

humanity, my humanity, depends on touch
        i know nothing of sentiment in it's absence
 
why then do i feel childish in this declaration?
  why am i received with confusion and cynicism with this confession?
i do not lie, i do not seek to damage the hallmark heart of anyone...
    i come honest, but rely on little else than touch
    if i am to trust, lay loyalty, or give my love to another.
                            confidence wanes after awhile, and with it goes the promise of all that i could have ever been with and for you.

            how funny am i now? 

  are you receiving me....am i coming through clear....
                                 
                                                i miss wrapping my legs around you, having your
                                                heartbeat beneath my cheek  :    breathing in sync
                                                      for what it's worth, my hands fit in yours
                                                            and i fall asleep like that... just holding your
                                                                                                hand.
                                            touch
                                          relies on
                                            two
                        if it is to count for anything at all.

then again, i am wrong to think so selfishly.
  i am always wrong    and i don't fight fair.