Pomegranate Martini

I trace the rim of the glass
with my fingertip
consumed by bitter thoughts
and the politics of work

worn out and defeated,

I take a deep breath
and watch crystal gems of temporary fulfillness

dance in my glass

I try to catch them with my tongue

and slowly exhale the breath of words

that were left to rest- flat and

unsaid

Author notes

Prompt: color - Pomegranate

wanted to write something nice...but been feeling worn out and overwhelmed.

but pomegranate martini is my favorite drink!

A contest entry

Hues of Red in 12 Lines or Less (there's a catch) by The Fun House. 1050 points, ended January 3, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

Im still revising this piece. Constructive criticism is welcome

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
Terry Collett
March 15

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Impressive.
I wouldn't say impressive if it wasn't so, and it is for me, this poem and the way you have set it out and brought in the right words. Liked:

I take a deep breath
and watch crystal gems of temporary fulfillness

dance in my glass

I try to catch them with my tongue

and slowly exhale the breath of words

that were left to rest- flat and

unsaid
JumbledThoughts
January 5

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Great Write! Especially liked your verse
"I try to catch them with my tongue
and slowly exhale the breath of words
that were left to rest-flat and
unsaid".
Well said.
insideinsanity
January 1
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Mmmm. Very well done. The effect you went out for is quite evident. Very nice.
The Fun House
December 25, 2008

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Great metaphoric qualities to this piece. It flows just beautifully and gets the mind roaming. That I can dig wholeheartedly. Those closing lines a just perfect to end this with as well. Excellent
Nuclear
December 17, 2008
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Pomegranates,
I love them.

I'll be back to look at this.