Keep Fighting,
Keep Breathing,
Keep Winning,
Keep Bleeding,
Keep Loving,
Keep Hating,
Keep Receding,
Keep Depleting.
Life is Pain,
Death is Pain,
It Ends the Same.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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super duper concise, but seriously made the point
gorgeously awesome write<3
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I love that you used the repeating lines. Some of them were opposite? Bleeding...loving...I don't agree with the love ie (my past) but the idea behind it is absolutely amazing.
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Short bt good. I like it
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I loved it. I don'd have much time to write the whole 'i love it cuz of.... this.....' crap so you'll just have to believe me on this one.
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Short
This has alot behind it, I can tell. Bet you could flush it out more.
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Yeah, I agree with my two comrades down below. You need to change something. However, changing the font color won't help a hootin' hell unless you make the color green or blue (in either case it would be offensive to the eyes and in either case you would have to use both, due to links). So, I recommend changing the background. A nuclear bomb doesn't really make sense with something that is entitled "Keep" anyway... I will admit it's a cool background, though...
On the poem, I really have nothing bad to say. Once again, it is great in its simple, catchy beat. I would say that this poem could be greatly extended however, anyway, the ending "...It comes out the same..." sounds cut-off. That doesn't make it bad, but I think that expanding it (without changing anything about the poem) would make it scrumtrelescent.
...Zak... the Doctor is calling...
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Mmm I agree with Luke, change the font color. It's impossible to read as you have it now. But, the short lines do the poem well. Great work.
xxoo
gypsy -
I really suggest changing the font color, but this is a great poem!
luke
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