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memo tacked up where it's unnoticed

Missing image

 

symbols of expressionism covered
abstract addresses absence
in nothing but empty spring

van gogh would have understood what i mean
though i myself am clueless

bird words from an open window
often mimic providence

[who hasn't thought of cutting themselves?]

no one sensible admits to the brackets

 

 

after death attacks

do you suppose ghost

will be offered plaque?

 

not

 

according to christendom

you will live somewhere hot

 

but

 

voor niets gaat de zon op

 

 

 

Author notes

http://alnawar.jeeran.com/ima44.jpg

Guideline: Must use alliteration and internal rhyme. Less making me run to the dictionary. Minimum 15 lines.

Voor niets gaat de zon op = Dutch: The Sun rises for free.

Not sure why this picture made me think of Van Gogh.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Never Fall in Love
    June 11
    Edit | Reply
    lol, did you know that I knew dutch?
    It could also be interpreted as "the sun comes up for nothing" which is a more depressing interpretation but I liked that.

    "van gogh would have understood what i mean"
    - meant

    I loved that picture. and only thought you could do it justice. Seems I was right


    • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
      June 11
      Edit | Reply
      I think I had that you spoke dutch in the back of my mind.

      No. I definitely meant to use the word mean. Mean refers to the previous stanza. I am saying it now. I almost said, "... would have understood what I am saying" I don't believe poetry is so strict that I can't do such a thing.

      I am looking at this picture now, and seeing totally different things. lol


  • A. Lee S.
    June 10

    Edit | Reply

    very cool...

    I like this a lot... very abstract; lots of room for reflection; solid Van Gogh ties; thought the close was sensational.

    Bit of a minimalist regarding the guidelines... I have no complaints; kind of adds to the overall rebellion for me.

    Kudos, Asha Doe.


  • wbiro gold member
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    oh, this layout is all over the page! Now there are a few reasons to do it- one is for clarity- breaking up images and thoughts adequately... another is for sheer entertainment... let's see what you have here... so it appears that the left-aligned is you speaking aside, and the center is the poem proper... let's see if they work together... yes, the first few do, then you get good an unpredictably abstract- hey- just like Van Gogh! (now I'll have to go see the prompt pic...) yes, ghosty... stark sheet over chair, subdued colors and lighting... I almost ran to the dictionary over your use of "providence", but then decided against it- owing to the abstractness of the piece... now I see the reason for your somewhat weak (awkward?) (obvious?) alliterative attempt in the beginning lol (for it doesn't seem to come natural to you...) glad you translated the Dutch- I've learned from Dutch poets here that the syntax is way different than English...


  • softest-whispers
    December 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written, the picture has such clarity as does your write. I loved this

    ~Luce


  • geckogirl silver member
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    bravo

    Magic pic... good luck for the contest...nicely written...you will live somewhere hot
    but
    voor niets gaat de zon op




  • PerfectImperfection
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How very random, yet not. Deep and thought provoking write. For why pay the cost, risk the weight - or~ the latter, also extended, scanning the ladders - when and if they lead; literally and metaphorically. Ok - I am done now lol. Good luck in the contest - I hate being against you in anything! j/k

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