"Time is different now, it moves
much slower, faster. Days slip
away into night. I have always
been a night person. I find a
warm place to curl up in the
middle of a dark room, and
listen... And some thing -
- is listening back."
James Baldwin 1987.
I am not a black man,
I am not, nor have I
ever been a slave,
but for this anger that
wells up in my throat
bringing a choke to
the back of my
mouth, and water
from my eyes.
Not a fearful pause,
or is it a need for
me to worry more,
but when the moment
comes again for me
to find a reason to
let you live. I very
well might not.
Choking you dead,
but beautifully planned; As the
Cemetery tree Brugmansia,
with its huge drooping belled
flowers. I would leave you
there without an answer;
as you brought me here.
A cold morning's feast
for the best crow.
Going home, I would
kiss my wife's forehead,
and eat fresh fruit to the
sound of our children playing
Knowing it's a better world,
without you in it.
Author notes
Written February 9th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Quotes and Poetry by Samplette.
500 points, ended November 15, 2004, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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In that case it is extremely haunting! I'm glad you can write about it without acting it out, murder is a heavy case!
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Nope, it's about me killing my mother.
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ah Shardik...
a very creative piece. Your inspiration from this quote birthed a haunting write. Thank you so much for entering this contest.
Sam
Edited on Nov 15, 4:47 p.m. because ''. -
Hi Jeremy,
I guess it's because I'm me, that my take on this work is that of a Southern White who hung a Black man, and went on with his life as (usual)if it was something that should happen, ya know, no remorse. Maybe it's because you used James Baldwin's quote as inspiration. That "something listening back". Echoes of the past. Maybe it's because of how you began the poem;
I am not a black man,
I am not, nor have I
ever been a slave,
but for this anger that
wells up in my throat
bringing a choke to
the back of my
mouth, and water
from my eyes.
Seems like the very thought of a lynching here creates anger and sadness in your very being. But then, as I stated in the onset of this comment, that's my take. I love Baldwin, and appreciate that you quoted his words.
Hope all is well with you and your family! The best of luck in the challenge. A Supreb job with this poem!
Much Love,
Renee
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It was a good poem. I liked the way you didn't start a new line at teh end of each sentence, something few writers do. It's not very gory, but it's still good. Angie
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Choking you dead,
but beautifully planned;
wow, once again, this was amazing, but those lines right there just caught my eye...wow...good luck
christina -
Lovely.. horrible and so vividly descriptive of despise in the mind if left free to wander there.. on the I woulds ..( in private ) ..myself...I've always fancied the chop and dice method ...probably a trait of being methodical.. besides then one could count cost.. ( my impression anyways )
Great stuff...
~~whims -
well, death becomes us i suppose.
this for some reason, makes me think of sicamors swaying slowly in humid warm air...
im not sure why...i think , because it's a vile act wraped in such silk-like words...
you seem to attract quite the audience...(ahemNoxahem)
Nyx... -
Toadie.
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I don't want a dam thing from you like i give a fuck what you say or do
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Are you ill? I didn't IM you because I still don't have a clue what it is you want, what it is your talking about, or why in the fuck I should care you fucking asshat.
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I love when my chodre likes the killing ebcause i can tell the pleasure when you murder someone in your poems...there's like a grin on your insanely odd little face. Ok well anywyas this is really a great poem that i can't help but love and you have such a weird odd perfect characteristic to it...i love you for it...great work again.
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oh look at you, no wonder you did not write me back you were trying to write a sappy poem, are you thinking of killing someone can't take the harsh critism, but yes i am always up for a challenge, i never got your im so i figured you got all pissy and left, thanks for the stunning comment old chap
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Yes, it is a better world without me in it....oh wait! you were speaking of someone else, it is just I've heard/read that so many times......no not really.
Anyways, I liked how you opened it up (not the quote your actual words) and how you gently swayed to the ending, my impression.
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gorgeous and wicked. makes me a bit crazy. yes. very well then.
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I think I like this. To be completely honest I don't think I understand it. *heavy sigh* Well, if I did understand it, I'm sure I'd like it
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hmmm. Generally opposed to the thought of "Choking you dead", so I am going to take this very metaphorically, and think that maybe you speak of killing a fear or phobia. Or maybe you are killing time...for certainly, there are clues to suggest as much in your initial reference.
Well, thats how I'm going to read it.
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