Your words, like ice, they sting.
Your gray skies, no hope they bring.
You're beautiful, though being with you turns one as cold as ice;
No apology you will give, though warning might have sufficed.
Author notes
angeladowns.
http://skategirl.deviantart.com/art/Nostalgia-97657838
Picture credit. ^
I used option 1.
A contest entry
- 12/35/30 Quickie... by Sweet Impatience.
1200 points, ended December 16, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Honourable Mentions Only! by amaranthine lover.
775 points, ended January 22, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What's your constructive criticisms and thoughts on my poem?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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not really what I am looking for
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very nonchalant thanks for entering!
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New form! Sorry for saying you use the same on all the time. This is beautiful, very short, but it says a lot. I think you could get rid of the first 'as' in the third line, and while this poem doesn't stab as close to the heart as some of your better writes, it's still a beautiful short piece.
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Hah, again only for a quickie contest, I think I had like 10 minutes or something to write this. xP
The links I sent you are my different formed poems that I'm a bit more proud of, perhaps you'll like those better. =]
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outstanding take on the prompt. I really enjoyed this poem immensely. I can relate to this poem very well.. you did an excellent job on this.
good luck
kat
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Very nicely done... I really enjoyed this and thought it flowed from the prompt... Beatiful.
Ken
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Oh...beautiful words here! Penned with brilliance. All the best to you in the contest.
Love
Alyzeh
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