Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Silent Night

I put her in to the car seat

Clipped her seat belt on

She opened her eyes briefly

Daddy will we be long

 

Who would have thought

A few moments would pass

An impact from nowhere

we stopped spinning on the grass

 

Sara was moaning

In the seat next to mine

To the best of my knowledge

I appeared fine

 

I turned to the back seat

It was so quiet back there

Oh God I can see Karen's body

Hanging from the chair

 

The radio was playing silent night

I could only stare at her face

My precious little angel

Held there in space  

 

The drunk that hit us

Had a small cut on his head

The paramedic said he threw up

When he learnt our daughter was dead

 

He was fined for drunk driving

Received a Restriction for a year

While we were handed life sentences

At a cost so dear

 

We don't talk much

What is there to say

Karen was the light of our life

Now the lights gone away

 

The Marriage only lasted

The rest of that year

Sara overdosed on pain killers

She had Manic depression I hear

 

 

 

 

Author notes

the poem Silent Night while enter here is not to be considered for trophy placement thank you.

To All that leave a message thank you. This is a dramatization of tragedy that takes place needlessly, daily all over the world. If we would simply not drink and drive the outcome of so many lives could be changed.... have a Merry and Safe Christmas and a wonderful New Year Cyber Artist

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 81 of 81

  • wander of the sky
    November 11

    Edit | Reply
    this one is powerful it is making me cry i am so sorry for you loss of the sweet little angel you named sara


  • Mango Memories gold member
    October 15
    Edit | Reply
    Scary- seeing as my name is sara.

    But a very good and strong poem this is.

  • Gritty

    Hard hitting. How can drunk drivers live with themselves. I cannot understand human nature!

  • Amazing!

    This was very touching... And true. its does happen all over the world... its just sad...

  • magnusprime1
    April 5

    Edit | Reply
    absolutely moving..i loved it...i hope this did not happen to you..it made me sad...the song was a brilliant touch...it shows how horribly one mistake can affect one person's life.

  • Roxydoxy
    January 22

    Edit | Reply

    emotive

    Whilst I couldn't help but be moved by such a story and the impact of the music certainly added to the drama I did think the poetry itself could have been richer. I was glad I visited.

  • karmacae
    January 22
    Edit | Reply
    Such a tragic thing to endure. So heart breaking that someone , a child should die due to someone elses ignorance in driving while drunk. If you should drink, leave it at home, not on the road. It is not worth it. I am sorry for the loss, may God be with you and your family


  • gigglesalot
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    wow this so made me cry! you are so right, things like this happen all the time and most of the time the drivers are let off so easily.

  • SueRee
    January 22

    Edit | Reply

    Write On...

    So many priceless losses to the reckless self indulgence of driving while .... drinking, eating, correcting the kids in the back seat, talking on the cell phone, falling asleep, etc. Drunk drivers get the notoriety they deserve, but the rest of us can be faulted for inattention to the road, too.
    Thank you for reminding us of the multiple consequences of drunk driving "accidents". I hope every reader thinks twice about driving more safely.
    Prayers for you as you continue to pay the price for someone else's stupidity.

  • eternal-devotion
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Heartwrenching.

    Your grief must be the greatest of all. I will never understand why those who choose to drink and drive are not given stiffer sentences. When they take the life of anyone they should be locked up just like any other murderer.I am so sorry to read what happened to your wife as well. It is the most needless of loss of life for if only people would not drink and drive, these things would not happen. Niaish Ma eno.

  • PureCountry
    December 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Nothing More Needs To Be Said,

    Niaish for sharing with us all!


  • SunDew
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A beautifully sad poem! Oh, my heart hurts so badly for all those so tragically affected by drunk drivers. If this happened to you, I give my sincerest apologies. Because of him, you not only lost your daughter, but your wife, too. That has to be nearly unbearable. I can't imagine a single night without my 10 month old son, much less the rest of my lifetime. You must be a very strong person to handle so much pain & loss. An absolutely beautiful write!

    s from Niaish Ma Eno From All Your Children,
    ~Bright & Little Robin (My son, Dewey)

    P.S. You deserve way more than 3 clappy guys, but that is all I'm allowed to give.


  • Still Standing gold member
    December 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Whoa

    That was chilling and a wake up call for sure. Sometimes a wrong decision could end up a tragedy. Thank you


  • uchideshi
    December 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I lost a few friends this way in high school. thanks for writing this. it is profound.


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    December 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A lot to think about WOW!


  • film noir
    December 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    People should realize the consequences before they decide to drink and drive. So many lives have been ended before it even truly begun. They could of been doctors, lawyers, scientists, musicians, and presidents.
    Now, we never know.

    - Al


  • Nangaleema
    December 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is a good reminder at this time of the year to be responcible. great write.

  • Insistentlonging
    December 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    great job

    Amazing. Writting something like that hurts.


  • Immortal Obscurity Greeters member
    December 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I admire the honesty with which this is written; people need to think of the consequences before they decide to drive under the influence, as they can cause families like the one in your poem a lifetime of pain.

    My best wishes to you, now and always.

    Laura


  • Legend silver member
    December 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully sad There is little left to say


  • Child of an Angel
    December 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Sheesh

    This was so powerful, and so honest. A nice punch in the gut reminding people what their actions can do to someone else. One drink can ruin an entire family.The way you wrote this was beautiful yet heartwrenching. The rhyme was genius. Great Job CA, your a darn good poet! Keep then pen flowing!!

    ~!Emily!~


  • Wind-Spirit
    December 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    http://allpoetry.com/group/show/Niaish%20Ma%20eno%20from%20all%20your%20Children
    from our group...I would like to thank you for getting this message out!


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    December 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This write is by far the most powerful i have read in a long time not just on this site but anywhere.The tragic feelings were expressed with upmost honesty and the rhyming was flawless. I think it reads so slowly as if you can actually see it unfolding in front of you. All in all, perfectly penned.
    Great work. Sad, and tragic, but written very well.
    Laura.


  • angelwowings2009
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was a very powerful and profound piece. The message is gut-wrenching, and heart-breaking, but so necessary, especially this time of year. My condolences go out to anyone who has had to endure such a horrendous tragedy.~angel


  • LittleMoon silver member
    December 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It has all be said. Amazing.


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dammit are you trying to break my heart?!
    This is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever read. It ripped me in two and made me feel like I was gasping for breath...

    We're not friends right now mister

    xox


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Your words reach inside and pull the tears from my heart...the rhyming, the form, simply everything about this poem touches the soul so deeply, i guess because the words are so real and filled with life and truths for so many...please pass the tissues for the tears continue to flow...i know of a family that this poem fits perfectly as though you wrote it for them

     

    You are true Master Poet

    and i thank you for sharing this with us all and i do hope it will touch some so they want drink and drive


  • Lazy
    December 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    sad

    i likeit.my sister says the rymeing killed it, but i think it was good the way it is.


  • hoeftra gold member
    December 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    A Story Too Common

    Beautifully rendered in its tragic poigency, Silent Night tells on a very personal level a story that's far too common, not banal, but frequent, too not make an impact on emotions and memories of similiar results of such a death as this prescious child. Divorce and suicide of the mother, I have had too many occassions to be privy to as a reporter. Not to report it, but too know it. I do take some exception to using manic depression as a ready scapegoat instead of extreme grief and loss of a child. I also have seen it from the other point of view, not related to alchohol but just a tragic accident whereby the person who was to blame for deaths committed suicide. hoeftra


  • Deceits Tears silver member
    December 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This Is a very raw and In your face piece, its one that should make people think before gettin into a car when drunk
    Its a common occurence world wide, and we all need to stop losin lives over a few drinks.
    You have done an amazin job puttin this piece out there and are to be commended for doin so
    Kudos to you poet
    I wish you well and all the best


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    December 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, m'gosh, brother.. Oh, m'gosh. This should sting anyone who is considering that they are above the law.

    No words. The content screamed over anything technical, which makes it 'victory' in my book. In fact, "Silent Night" was not an instant success. Year was 1818 in Oberndorf, Germany. Joseph Mohr wrote the lyrics, but apparently Franz X. Gruber wrote its score. Something spiritual woke him up and as this piece describes in its parallel, the rest is history.

    Thank you for sharing this unique and effective voice-over!
    Bless you!

    as from me...
    and rating in content and presentation!


  • Justin Stone
    December 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Simplistic and boring. Its in need of better words and poetic devices if you truly want to reach your audience.


  • Andiness
    December 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I dont know if this is so much a dramatizatin as a literal description if not understating things....it was very good and very moving. Though not enough to make me cry, sad yes. Tears, no. I'm still searching for a poem that can do that....only two have and I wrote one of them....

    --Pet

  • JuiceofOhio
    December 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    Amazing. That is all.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    December 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Exceptional!


    I cannot praise your creativity enough. It is powerfully effective both within the imagery and emotion; succintly showing how drink driving can cause death and hand out life sentences for the families that are bereaved. As I have said before, whatever sentence is given to a drink driver who actually serves the sentence, it is the victims and their families aswell as any attendents such as paramedics. I honestly believe this poem/ video played on TV and heard on radio with that background music and the same delivery could have a positive impact on reducing drink driving.
    Paul, please let me know if you would give permission for my local radio station to play this and if so I will contact them and find out if they are willing to air it. It just occured to me if every poet could do the same then this could soon be heard in so many counties/country's. I watch a show about new inventions and someone has invented a system to go into a vehichle that will not operate if the driver is drunk, the technology is beyond me to explain but basically the key takes a reading of the drivers alcohol level. The inventor was refused financial backing on the show and I don't know if he has found any yet but I certainly hope so! Unbelievably on the same show finacial backing was given to someone who had invented adult size bibs to sell in America so that adults could eat in their cars without getting messy, the mind boggles at those with the finance backing being able to eat in a car without getting in a mess but could not back an invention to prevent deaths in a car.


  • Moon Star
    December 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    that was really good

  • strangefruit
    December 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very hard, timely. It is not a 'beautiful' poem but I think that actually helps. I am impressed and touched.


  • AnnD Moderators member
    December 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An absolutely amazing write and audio Paul... I am commenting on this now as you have asked not to be considered for a placing...
    This was an absolutely hard hitting and perfect message to get out there.... exceptional.

    Well done.

    Ann


  • Sitara
    December 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Life is cruel when the fate destroys by a blow of its hand.Very touching

  • Utpala-Blue
    December 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very compelling way to convey that message - it really hits home!


  • DylanBloodlust
    December 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Holy sh**. Almost the same thing happened to me, except we lived.. But my dad was on the side the car hit us at 75mph, he was hospitalized, in a coma for a few months, and has brain damage, both his legs where broken, luckily he can walk now, but he's never going to be the same, and neither am I, because I was conscious to see it all happen.. I feel everyone's pain whenever I'm reminded of it..


  • csmmoms2
    December 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Jesus

    What a story I can't even talk. Happened twice in my family, somehow time heals itself. -c


  • Granny Goose silver member
    December 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ditto what I said in my comment as catz. This is an awesome piece, Paul and very much worth reqeading

    Dee


  • Maatkara gold member
    December 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    !


  • TabbyJoy
    December 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a heartrending piece...and even moreso when one considers that this fiction has become reality in so many lives. Thank you for bringing attention to such an important issue. You deserved the spotlight. Well done.


  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    December 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Gives stark meaning
    to the silence of night.

    M-C

  • Kari gold member
    December 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG...it gave me totally chills and I am just stunned by this..it's sad, heartbreaking, and just omg...


  • artsyfart13
    December 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    This is an amazing poem. I absolutely love it. It is heartbreaking knowing that it happens.


  • catz Moderators member
    December 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's sad and heart breaking to even think about the lives that will be changed this holiday season, either by death or serious injury caused by drunk drivers.

    Your poem and video is heart wrenching, Paul,.. and so realistic. The visualization of this piece is awesomly horrible and beautiful at the same time, the background music and your words seem to penetrate as I read and listen.

    A very pertinent message to all of us.
    Merry Cristmas and the best of the New Year's promise.

    Dee

  • kbinder
    December 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    gave me chills!!!!!!!!


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    December 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    What does it

    take to get the idiots off the road,death, or and ijuries,loss of family, and most of all sanity,life
    is short as it is,beautiful,but sad,poem...
    What more can I say
    MerryChristmas and a wonderful NewYear...
    be safe in all that life gives to you...
    Linda


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    December 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Powerful. Beyond sad.


  • Midnight00Angel
    December 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!!

    What a beautiful,heartfelt poem. It evoked a hugely emotional response. And a lesson to everybody out there. I am really sorry if this is what happened to you. Good luck in the contest. I wouldn't change a thing about it.


  • Dragonbabyx3
    December 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I very much agree with what you said in your authors notes, This is a terrifyingly horrible piece, Something that is one of my worst nightmares. Bringing me to tears. beautiful write... I hope all learned a lesson.....

  • Papagallo
    December 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The words here tore at me. What you penned happens and it is beyond sad. The tragedy that acidents cause is beyond words. All who drive drunk should be put away for a long time.
    Revisions? I think not.

  • lightwing
    December 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    157 people booked for drunk driving over the last weekend I heard on the news. What does it take before people learn? Hopefully the story you tell will help make this a safe holiday.


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    December 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thankyou for using your ink
    to remind us painfully
    of the joyous celebrations
    and our important responsibilities.

    this poem aches the heart to read,
    as it is the reality of many
    who lose their loved ones to drunk driving.

    ears/Seattle

  • midnight-whisper
    December 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully sad. What a grave reminder of the tragedy that can take take place, any moment anywhere. What a sad talk that takes place way to often. I hope all read this and get this message this holiday season.


  • xTroubled-Teenx
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I pray to God that this is not a true story that has happened with you. I do love this poem with every once in my body. Thank you for sharing this poem with us, and good luck in the contest. Please keep writing


  • -Darkest Desire-
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I wish I could express my sympathy better than writing it out on this page, but I can't. And the people who have already written their sadness have said it all ahead of me.
    Truly Heartfelt, and Heartbreaking.
    If this peom is of true likeness of your life, then know I express my greatest sympathy and prayers.
    God Bless Darling,

    ~Alea


  • rinzurajan
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ohh my...that was very sad...
    the pain of loosing a loved one due to our own mistakes is the biggest punishment one can ever get...


  • Patience15
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WoW! That is such a terrible and tragic ending. It happens so often that the one who has the fault comes out fine... while the innocent are left to suffer. I loved the poem and it was so sad to know that it happened listening to Silent Night. Beautifully written.


  • Joseph Hollis
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Terribly heartbreaking, indeed. Such a powerful and tragic message is delivered here. This one is hard hitting. I found it to be perhaps more effective in its audio form. Many people have lost loved ones due to drunk driving. The punishment is often not severe enough for this crime. I don't know if any punishment could be severe enough.


  • IrishGypsyRose silver member
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Oh Wow

    I cannot find words to express the depth of emotion that this piece brought out. It is a very sad and painful reality for so many families. I send heartfelt prayers to those that have lived with this tragedy. Beautifully sad piece. Gypsy


  • SheWasPreternatural
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm too emotional to submit a superb comment right now. If this story is true.... i can relate to it more then i would like too. thought i've never lost a child (couldnt even imagine it) I've lost friends to idiots like that, my cousion is paralyzed for this exact same reason. Too many lives ruined and families broken. The raw emotion displayed here... brought forth tears i had been longing to let go. thank you.


  • Nicada silver member
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Heart Wrenching!

    Oh my! This is so sad and I know that this happens more than most people realize. A very poignant poem that shares such a heartbreaking, but very important message. Thank you for sharing this. Blessings, Patty


  • Chuck Johnson silver member
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Intense poem

    Shouldn't it be thru up instead of throwed up? Not sure... lol. The poem showed intense feelings and emotional crisis from the fathers point of view. Impressed with your abilities. Drunks now days face "Vehiclar Homicide" charges and even 26 years in prison for each count. Far more then the situation described (reflections of the past). At least that is the situation here in the States. Thank god. People choose to drink and drive..its not something forced on them and there is NO excause for doing it. None at all. Nor is prison suitable punishment in my humble opinion. Perhaps a toss out of a hovering helo at 2,000 feet would be more equitable treatment.


  • Wolfdog silver member
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    Ah, Stille Nacht, Heilege Nacht? A very poignant write, indeed. You have my empathy. Thanks for sharing this one with us.


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful. This hits you right where it hurts and brings a great reality check. Every hair on my body is literally standing straight up. This gave me chills to the bones. Phenomenal presentation. Phenomenal!


  • hawkeslake gold member
    December 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very sad, and unfortunately happens more than it should. Blessings for the author.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hard hitting and painfully sad poetry. Life does not often reward the good guys nor punish the bad.
    Thank-you for the reading and this presentation. The does certainly get the message out. I fully agree with Amera's propose spotlighting.


  • White Tiger 96
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is one of the sadest things I ever read. I'm actually crying. I'm so sorry if this is true. It is a lovely poem. Very well written. Keep Writing, I look forward to reading more from you!!


  • KayJay
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Powerfully written, deeply felt... more than a poem, it's a lesson and a warning... Excellent.
    Ken

  • Francis Vincent
    December 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    an issue that needs attention


  • lost-angel
    December 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    that is so sad...i'm so sorry if that's real!!! great writing...


  • guardianhost gold member
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Please tell me this isn't true!

    What a nightmare! The impact, writing form, verbal delivery of the poem could only be classified as OUTSTANDING! Promoting the message - Never Drink and Drive! I shall never hear the song silent night in the same way again. This is most assuredly a worthy of SPOTLIGHT !!!! I agree with Amera.


  • Indecisive Speckle
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, powerful stuff. very shocking. a magnificant write though really puts the message across. good luck in the contest.


  • PreciousCowgirl
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    *sniff* How sad... Just think many people loose their children that way. I can just imagin this world without alcohol. This is sooo sad *sniff*


  • Amera gold member
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG! I'm sitting here in tears! This is the most heart wrenching, painful, well written poem I have read in a long time if not the most painful. I sure hope this isn't a true story but if it is, all I can offer is a hug . I'm nominating this for the Spotlight. I think it needs to be read and heard by everyone.

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • suseann
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This rips the heart in separation from a soul. Weather drunk or irresponsible thoughtless driving. Which would be driving drunk too. You read this aloud with such emotion. Cry


  • Zeprina-Jaz
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very powerful and conveys the message with hard-hitting reality. I like the 'silent night' touch. It just makes the situation all the worse

1 - 81 of 81