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Removed

Wandering aimlessly

Silent thumping

Breathe irregularly

Sigh lightly

Whisper softly

Fall clearly

Shaking artlessly

Alone

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • penman gold member
    September 17
    Edit | Reply

    wonderful

    Very creative and so well done. And so very expressive. Best of luck in the contest


  • Keystone Theater
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    Ah, there is this looming dread over this poem and we feel it as we read until the last line when that word "alone" strikes out and shows us the real hurt in this poems intent. Nicely done.

  • WranglerSteve gold member
    December 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    A

    I know what you mean