Two men standing on a hill
Study the landscape, peaceful and still
"The best of creatures is the deer
A dashing blur but never clear
Evading predator and human alike
Only in danger will it strike."
The first man carried on in this way
Molding words as if they were clay.
The second man just stood and smiled
"I guess it's OK until it's horns are filed
But the wolf is the one with the grace
Strength and speed, it won't give up the chase
Never does it hunt alone
Will of fire, and strength of stone
Together they hunt in a pack
Making up for what they lack."
The first man just looked and said
"Teamworks good until you're dead
Ants have the right of the way
Lifting up tall mountains grey
In weight lifting they have surely won
Together they can lift over a ton
And if that's not enough to make them the best
Then find something better, be my guest."
"That I will," said the man who had stood
"I'll admit, ants are pretty good.
But swiftness and strength are the things
That make the eagle the best creature with wings
High above the world he flies
Never needing to leave the skies.
Up and up, and away
The strongest winds only make him sway."
The first man started to wrack his brain
His sweat was starting to form a stain.
"Ok, if that's the way you want to go
What better way to fight high than with low?
The eagle is dead, 'cause the fish he snatched
Just happened to have a shark attached.
A shark keeps on eating, but it is never full
A bite from a shark can be quite cruel."
The second man said,"The chances of that are so slim
I think you just used it on a whim
Well if it's teeth you want then it's teeth you'll get
A snake is quite deadly if it hasn't just et
It slides through the grass, deadly and still
Death in it's teeth, it saps your will.
A thing from our nightmares, and under our beds
Leaving trails of fear, it's skin it sheds."
The argument carried on through the day
And then that night they decided to stay
But when faced with the question,'Which creatures the best?'
Finding the answer is an impossible quest
But as a moral for this tale I lay
Every creature is unique in it's own way.
A contest entry
- 17000+ Points for your Best - Effort by Ken-Maverick.
10000 points, ended January 15, 49 entries
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Uhhhh... Yeah just give me your opinion ok?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Thank you for entering!
Not a big fan on rhyme, it was a little awkward in places but wasn't that bad as such.
An interesting piece with interesting dialoge.
Thank you for entering.
Sophie
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"
The argument carried on through the day
And then that night they decided to stay
But when faced with the question,'Which creatures the best?'
Finding the answer is an impossible quest
But as a moral for this tale I lay
Every creature is unique in it's own way."
wow this ending was stunning, by far my favorite part.
wonderful flow. -
Your poem holds a good moral and a entertaining point. The rhyme made it all catchy and a joy to read, well done. My favorite lines:
"But the wolf is the one with the grace
Strength and speed, it won't give up the chase
Never does it hunt alone
Will of fire, and strength of stone
Together they hunt in a pack
Making up for what they lack."
Well, not the end tho as I admire the wolfs. Also a typo in line 38, ahppened <--
My score is 6/10
Best of luck
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Nice flow...and I love well done
rhyme...such as this!
Best wishes in the contest!
Write on!
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I liked it. And I thought it flowed well too.
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I commend you on the rhyme and it flowed all the way through, Well done on this
Lovely work
All the best to you in the contest
Ken
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