Trees burdened with coats of white
frosting castles of dreams
on a nights somber sky
biting wounds on fresh and crisp moons
our hearts frozen in time
gilded with crystals of life
the glare turning clocks rabid
pains jagged hands revolving cuts again
and I turn to the wind and feel the ice
rip through glistening coverlets
knots in wooden fantasy plead for seeds
while crooked branches reach for the sun
it's enough this barren land
aching in a clear translucent mind
tears can’t fall when you're numb
and sleep is just an embrace away
Author notes
Prompt If we make it through December...
A contest entry
- If we make it through December... by Danna Hobart.
400 points, ended December 29, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Excellent, I love it.
brilliant take on the prompt
I love the last two lines
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Beautiful
Very lyrical
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Conclusively a fantastic "show" to the criteria and prompt.
Lost in a world of visuals. Love the ending!
typos/oopsies
"tears can’t fall when [your] numb- I'm sure you meant "you're".
and sleep is just [a ]embrace away - should be an
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thanks I'm really bad at that stuff...and so glad I have spell check..or it would be written in a totally new language *LOL*
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Cool, great take on the prompt...
Flowing narrative with great imagery that expresses the desolation & bleak time that is December...
Felt it, lived it, loved it...
Well done!!!
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Your imagery is gorgeous, and your tone is exactly how I have been feeling lately. Thank you so much for entering my contest.
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nice one
...and yes, it does bite hard under under crisp moons. -
wicked write G.
gilded with crystals of life
the glare turning clocks rabid
pains jagged hands revolving cuts again
it gives me the mental image of a clock with sythe like hands spinning wildly shredding the fabric of time and the shrouds of our existence
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love it my friend
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