I want to go to heaven
it’s my steadfast desire.
But how will I ever get there?
When I can feel the fire.
I’ve never been an angel;
and I’ve danced close to the flames.
I’ve called upon the devil
and played his tempting games.
I cursed the God who made me,
when “my love” walked away.
Gave up in vast despair
coldly refused to pray.
I gloried in sweet passion,
and let excitement win.
Cried out in ecstasy
never thinking it a sin.
I turned my back on everything.
Gave no value to my life.
If I hadn’t lacked the courage,
I’d have thrust the killing knife
So who am I to beg
forgiveness, when I sit,
in the cage I built
at the bottom of the pit?
I am, one of God’s creations,
whose final tear is done;
as I reach up for Heaven
invited, by the Son.
Patricia Gibson-Little
February 9, 2004
Author notes
I was just about to log off my computer and go to bed, when this poem demanded to be written. I hope you don’t find too many typos, cause it’s late and I didn’t wait until morning to check it. Thank so much for reading it.
Written February 9th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Heaven or Hell? by Madison Attitude.
300 points, ended February 12, 2004, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Amazing
This is sooooo GOOD! I love it. You put your feelings out so well, I can almost feel them myself. I make all sorts of mistakes too. I have thought about heaven in the exact same way. Don't worry, you'll get there. -
I am gasping! Gasping I am! Your poem rocked my fucking face off! and it made me go "oh yes!" You are talented and I wish I could write even a little bit. But no, oh oh, I suck at writing, oh oh. Anyway... bye...
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Very nice Patti, I seem to always rush everything I write, and it probably shows. This certainly doesn't seem like a last minute type of poem, there was plenty of thought here. I like how you insinuate that it's never to late to recognize your sins and ask forgiveness.
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This is such a wonderfully written poem, It shows that you have done things in you life that you regret, but you also say where you heart lies...Very heartfelt...
BRAVO!!!
Good luck in the contest
Tammy
Won't you return the favor? -
loveme
Nice ending. Yes, those who seek will find. Those who ask will recieve. I have had that problem too. I'm too comfort in my comfort zone, unwilling to change. But if one knows that he/she is doing wrong. It's a good start. Spirit is working within. Go to church cell group and gathering more, read the bible, so we can be friends of Christ. If only we try to read 2 verses per day. Even if we don't understand, if we ask the Spirit to reflect on us, someday we will be amazed what is revealed to us. But I know there is a God by knowing how many blessing I have. And give thanks often. How did ya know there was a God? -
wow. i haven't read the other entrees yet but if this doesn't deserve a prize i don't know what would. i'm not even gonna try to pick a favorite part or stanza because they are all so great! the ideas you expressed in here are portrayed amazingly well. good luck in the contest! *cheers*
*~SweetyPie~* -
Very nice, I liked this poem because it actually shows possibility for an ending not of paradise. "In the cage I built" was interesting, some think they can do sin after sin and still have a free ticket to heaven. Okay, I'm getting into this too much, lol
Much love, Aimee xo
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I've definately not held my head up to heaven yet... I'm still enjoying sin too much.... but this was well done. I've read quite a few poems that pretty much try to tell me that /I/ was going to hell because I sinned.... but this doesn't. I like that alot. Also the rhyming scheme. Doesn't sound forced, and it flows nicely. Keep it up!
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So who am I to beg
forgiveness, when I sit,
in the cage I built
at the bottom of the pit?..............
congratulations...
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Very well written. Very passionate and full of emotion.
Well done.
Sam
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