and
crack it
like a farm-fresh egg
against
a cornflower blue bowl
then watch it
s
p
i
l
l
a golden orb
of boom-boom desire
pulsating
with the impossible pain
for the want
of you.
I want to take this ache
and
crack it
like a farm-fresh egg
against
a cornflower blue bowl
then watch it
s
p
i
l
l
a golden orb
of boom-boom desire
pulsating
with the impossible pain
for the want
of you.
and
crack it
like a farm-fresh egg
against
a cornflower blue bowl
then watch it
s
p
i
l
l
a golden orb
of boom-boom desire
pulsating
with the impossible pain
for the want
of you.
Author notes
Prompt: "here is your opportunity to write that special secret someone a poem and tell them how you feel."
1 edit
In a list
A contest entry
- Shh - Don't tell anyone by Suzanne Dia.
3500 points, ended January 5, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 69 of 69
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Cracking eggs is serious business (bare with me here, lol) If you aren't good at it...it's best to leave it to those who are...and maybe that is why I've never had a secret crush, not even as a kid...I guess I knew it was a skill I didn't have...not have.
But I know the ache of desire all too well, though I have to use my distant memory search engine to find it.
I feel a temptation to quote Ambrose Bierce or HL Mencken whenever I read about romance and hurt...and yet that would be hypocrisy since I am under it's spell sometimes too.
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Do you even know the meaning of the word "cliche"? Because you certainly never use them! Or is that just me?
Where to begin...I love every phrase of this poem...the form, the pace, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g...ah, how words fail me...
P.S. EVERYTHING.
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I like the content of this poem but even more the way you put it on the page.
I think this deserved a hell of alot more than what it got. Some good stuff here
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Got to love the boom boom desire.
Wonderful imagery and creativity.
Splendidly done indeed.
Best of wishes to you always.
Tony
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I loved this poem for it's originality, it's form, as well as the vivid imagery, and how the poet painted pictures in my mind. It is short, yet to the point, and I enjoyed that.
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Wow. Very interesting. And by that, I mean original. Lol. Very nice.
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Lovely, I can see why this poem is so popular. Here I am just giving you another Rave Review, on top of the dozens and dozens of others who read it already.
Crazy-Love♥ -
nothing like a "you" poem to bring out the curious... lol congrats on your stirring up such a large (in my view) response... (and if you tell me your secret, it will be safe...)
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Think I already commented on this, but just in case I didn't, I'll echo the dozens of statements that have already been made on this piece.
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Brilliant!
The symbolism written here is exceptional, as are the images. The "ache" is totally overshadowed by the "want". For me, desire weighs heavy with sensuality, and I sigh at the endless beauty of love written in each sequence of words.
I wish you the best in this contest.
Much Love & Many Blessimgs ♥
Renee
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Very nice indeed. Happy trails.
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amazin
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Simply Amazing
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I like this poem very much it sounds like it came from your heart very inspiring
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Superb...
I like the title and the fact that it is part and parcel of the poem, stepping deftly into the first three lines that make a cracking impact. This is brilliantly written on so many levels, the imagery used is accessible as a metaphor and the pace adds sensuality as does the pulsating. The usage of the egg akin to a fertility symbol, the yearning for fertilization. Love it.
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straight to the heart
so simple and so loving it made me spill into the bowl as well keep it up its very inspiring -
Wonderful
I love this poem. It reminds me of Ellen Hopkin's poetry. Have you ever heard of her? -
Very Interesting
This is a nicepoem and deserves some recognition. I really liked it. You very talented and I like the title. You got a gift and you are using it very well. Keep up the good work. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
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awww, sweet. wondered where this was going to begin with. me like.
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messy and sexy,
sex messy but beautiful when it's all over the place.
we always want to surround ourselves with those things we so dearly love! -
i'd want to prop you against
a meticulously hand carved credenza
and whittle away the day
within your inner office -
but is he/she all they are cracked up to be?
hmmm
just yoking really
-
May you never be lacking or laying exposed after being broken open like a love sick fool. Any man worthy would hold you in his hands and let his touches answer your demands, knowing the interplay would take both of you away from any place you had ever played in before. Wave after wave on the beach of dreams to finally wake up and know you could do it all over again. May the mornings be laughing with the joy they find in your heart, may the people who know you be gifts to your soul, as life becomes a longer and longer road my the bends and turns awake the poertry we love and know.
Love,
Tom B.
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I can’t add anymore praise than what has already been said but this has something that many of your works don’t. Your work always has brilliant content and imagery but this poem has aesthetic symmetry as well. I rarely like offset word structure but it seems so natural in this poem. I think this piece is pure genius.
Love,
Amera♥
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you made it seem effortless. nice piece
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amazing...once more you demonstrate what poetry is meant to be...beautiful, descriptive and thought provoking. I wish I could write like this. Well done,
Rory
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Oops i forgot to tell you, the way you illustrated the word spill was magical...
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beautiful
Well constructed, in my opinion. It's something that truly describes how one can feel about another person. Truly beautiful indeed.
BandanaBiterWMD
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The ache in physical form, the combination of colours and sounds, the shape to the poetry, all combine to produce a perfect description.
Having read, and re-read, your poem, you are right. There is no other way to say it.
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Yes, I have felt this a time or two in my life…and I like my eggs scrambled, with a bit of cheddar cheese and Tabasco.
Always a pleasure Lane,
Love, Michael.
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Awesome
Thank you, Lane. My friends call me Vito "Boom Boom" the Torpedo.
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say it backwards with your head tilted to the left just a little - see what kind of reaction you get with that...just stunning, I'm sure...
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wow, that was enjoyable,, i may have read it 8 times or so,, I enjoyed the way you layed it out, it added to the form/way I read it,,, nicely done DELANEY
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now i know how you feel about me
your knight
Sir Riz
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nut it's good to see you again, Sir Riz
-
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HEY!!!
No fair posting my most inner naughty thoughts!!!!
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hmmnnn- your thirty thousandth terrific write- or thereabouts?
Rather amazing how "pulsating" is a natural state of affairs amongst humans- whether it be their heart or other parts of their anatomy-
Smiling at;
"Spill a golden orb of boom-boom desire"
somewhat like watching a humid sun rise
amongst the concussion of 105 MM Howitzers.
at such times-
One's mind wishes to be lying on a womans breasts-
listening to her heartbeat.
Sighhh
fini
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I love the feel of boom boom desire. I got some eggs on the fridge...though they may not be enough...sigh...not just some piece of cake, love the title Ms Lane
Anna Lee
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I love the feel of this...love the second stanza
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The pain of wanting is hard to bear but it's tempered by the joy from a touch or a smile...for me anyway.
Everyday words to describe an extraordinary need.
Margaret
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Well writen
This is a wonderful write and can paint a picture with your words
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this is priceless, love the boom, boom.
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As always Lane dear, your imagery leaves me wondering why I didn't think of this. Good luck in the contest and Merry Christmas.
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Love the 1st & 2nd Stranza, brilliant...good luck
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Wonderful imagery... and I like the sense of urgency and the want! Beautiful!
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"like a farm-fresh egg
against
a cornflower blue bowl
then watch it spill"
Someone asked me why I concentrate so much on imagery in my poetry. This is why.
Love, Peter
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I adore that second stanza.
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I felt the gentle intensity of your words burning into my mind long after I finished reading this piece the descriptions that you wrote about were so vivid and I loved the way you wrote about the prompt I enjoyed this poem a lot!
♦ M
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Encapsulates everything you are Lane babes-
BRILLIANT.
Hilly xxx
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i absolutely love the pace of this poem...and the cornflower blue..lovely colors & emotion - there is nothing worse than that pain of wanting someone..well done..
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i have points to give you an encore.
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Beautiful write, Lane. Wonderful take on the prompt. I love the description in this piece and the part of the egg. It seemed like a great metaphor for a broken heart. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
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If you let me take your heart I will prove to you "
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wow, i kind of wonder who this is for, you are going to have to tell me, but this is a wonderful poem, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Some cake! I'll have two slices!
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......ohhhh......wish it was me!
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Eggscellent. Ah, the secret desire, best handled delicately for once the shell is cracked, sometimes the yolk's on you. (Sorry for that.)
Very well done. Yours is a subtle hand in constructing this piece -- I enjoy the slow and careful reveal.
Garrison
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Damm Lane,
I feel the same about you.Thanks for letting me know.
Joe
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great poem. good luck in the contest. -batterfish
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ooooooooh
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i would edit this a bit different to capture the complete affect of the brilliant imagery to are known to express ... this truely dances across the tip of a tongue that's willing to taste tthe word's very essence ... i like this
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Go Pink!
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This one makes me whirl... the images, metaphors ought to be plain silly, but they're not. Whoever that special secret someone is... well... ok... wow.
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You always manage to paint the perfect picture with your words...this is no exception
Love
Sue
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Oh yeah. What an effective color scheme, the egg, bowl, and 'impossible pain'. Excellent penning.
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Whoa! Elevated poetry!
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...well this was beautiful and fills mind with nice pictures.
Nice.
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Each word of yours I read
adds to the feeling
that I have always known you
you say all that I feel
but in ways I did not know
words could bend
I want to take
the ache
you break
and beat it vigorously
to make the lightest
airiest souffle
that has ever been baked
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At a time like this you're Jamie Oliver?
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