Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Breakfast

Upon stone steps I turn to gain breath –

stopping, stooping to pick garden parsley –

and I note the distant sea

 

rolls out forever whether I sigh or not

for I am an old man with days numbered

and it, coy in its blue haze

 

will hymn in a blaze of stars

on the coldest, black night.

 

I pass through for breakfast,

pretend all’s normal as toast.   

Author notes

Prompt: Choose an apt quote.
Mine is from William Butler Yeats:
"I heard the old, old men say:
'One by one we drop away.' "

A contest entry

Please critique.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • Beautiful Irony
    December 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I happen to love this Butler Yeats quote: you picked a smashing one!

    You manage to paint a very concise picture, without saying very much at all. The image of the sea, combined with that of the parsley is very powerful.

    I think my favourite part has to be, "and I note the distant sea/rolls out forever whether I sigh or not". It's excellent. It's quite a depressing thought, really, and you express it in what is undoubtedly a beautiful poem.

    Thank you for entering it into my contest.

    Sarah


  • Sandal
    December 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    When I was in school, they said breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I would extend it, the first hour of waking sets the tone of the whole day, and it is crucial what we think, say and do.
    Your poem touches the most eternal, the sea, and the most mundane, breakfast, and unites them with the consciousness of mortality. A big part of life is getting through the tough bits with courage that does not appear so courageous, "normal as toast". The imagery brings me to the stone steps and parsley patch, thank you.