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The Aftermath

There is a place of calm beyond the storm
A breath of utter stillness in the night
Where coldness fades, and leaves you glad and warm.
There is a place of calm.

It dragged me down; it filled my darkened sight
And left me lost and breathless, all forlorn.
Struck mute and blind I wallowed in my plight.

Then, as it does, time moved a little on
And there was dawn, a meagre winter's light,
The hope survived, and in that place beyond
There is a place of calm.

Author notes

A Roundel

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • tony yates silver member
    December 24, 2008
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    brilliant

    fine write, well done - your friend tony yates

  • Philogos gold member
    December 22, 2008
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    wonderful!

    This is a really great description of the first small shoots of recovery from emotional trauma. The cyclic structure of the poem reflecs the rebirth of nture and human emotions. Well done.

    all the best for christmas - best and worst season of the year.

    vic


    • Jobob
      December 23, 2008
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      Sometimes poem inspiration just comes complete with the idea for structure, and in this case my inspiration was the phrase "there is a breath of calm beyond the storm" together with the repetition of "there is a breath of calm". It's lovely when it all comes together, isn't it?

  • Papagallo
    December 22, 2008
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    Works in time of stress.

    I liked softness and piece in this poem. I hate putting my ideas in the work of others. However, I am a retired professor and it is in my blood. I only wish to help. Saying that: In your third verse tell what dragged you down. Coldness? sadness? Tell your reader. The rest of the poem flows nicely.

    • Jobob
      December 23, 2008
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      Thanks for your comment, and I appreciate the suggestion. In this case "it" refers to a specific event in my life rather than an emotion -- so that I've structured my poem with scene, event and recovery, dealing predominately with the emotional effects of each. This is the second of two poems which deal specifically with that event, and in which I am rather more concerned with trying to work through and communicate difficult emotions rather than improve my art as a poet. I will consider your suggestion further.

      Thanks again.


  • kirbysman Moderators member
    December 15, 2008

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    Not really familiar with the form so I did look it up and it is a very pleasant and readable form. The words chosen here do a wonderful job of creating a picture, particularly the second line of the last stanza - that's just fascinating. Wonderful thought too - there's always a place beyond. We so often see time as it moves past us - through a very narrow slot in the wall of our world where, if we just stood up, we could see over the wall and know that there's a wide spread of time in both directions.

    Writing is wonderful stuff sometimes isn't it!


    Paul

    • Jobob
      December 23, 2008
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      Writing is, indeed, wonderful stuff, and can also be powerful and healing. The Roundel is a good form for this -- I first encountered it in "Reading the Entrails" by Neil Gaiman. It's short, simple and easy to read (although not really very easy to do: my previous tries at this form took a lot of re-writing, and even now I don't think they say anything worth hearing).

      Thanks for the comment and the applause.

1 - 7 of 7