Loving you,
hating me.
Loving you,
who couldn’t love me back.
I was the lone thorn on the rose’s stem,
the sliver of moon in a jet-black sky,
the ugly duckling in a family of swans,
I was always on the outside, looking in.
Meeting you,
hating me even more so.
Meeting you,
who doesn’t seem quite real.
I traipsed onto your territory,
invading your personal space,
shoving a frown, a scowl, a little slice of misery
into your happy, protected world.
Seeing you,
hating who I was.
Seeing you,
for who you really are.
You were never all right,
you never held the sun in your palm,
you were but a sad girl pretending
to live in a happy bubble of joy.
You’re the star who has lost its shine,
the ocean that has its rippling jewels stolen away,
the sky without its pale moon face grazing it,
you’re lost, lost, lost—little Bo Peep without her sheep.
You cried yourself to sleep at night,
I read your poems and I share your tears,
I see into the same bleak hole you stare into,
every night, without fail, without hope of a sweet dream.
Without respite, without love,
with nary a thing to your name.
I come offering my hand to you—
won’t you take it, please?
Author notes
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2b) You're In Love with someone who will never be yours.
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Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Without respite, without love,
with nary a thing to your name.
I come offering my hand to you—
won’t you take it, please?
Love this part!! -
Oh My, Oh My This is so sad, heartfelt and makes me want to cry.
It is written so well, great touching story an amazing flow. Yet it is so heart breaking.
To want love from someone who doesn't know love, wow this is a deep piece.
I enjoyed reading your words, keep that pen flowing.
Joyce
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beautiful, yet sad as well
that person, just reaching out for love, but no one willing to give it to them -
Sadly beautiful... Unfortunately, it reminds me of someone close, although admittedly a boy.
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exquisite!
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i really love this. words can't describe how powerful it is.
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Wow. Speechless.
-Faded
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BEAUTIFUL
I love the way you word this. You are an amazing poet with spectacular writing ability this poem relates to me I guess that's why I like it so much I have also been in love with someone who couldn't love them selves and have also been in those shoes! Keep up the good work keep writing! -
Very nice
We all wish for more than we have. some find it and others don't. You have to look with love in your heart to find love. You can't look in one direction and know what is behind the next door! Good luck and merry Christmas! The Shaker
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I absolutely LOVED it! You did such an awesome job. I can relate to this so much. I love your imagery. I can see everything as I read it. I also love your comparisons. You are such a talented writer. Keep up the awesome work! Bet of Luck!
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This poem has a bunch of strong moments that verge on brilliance.
I'm majorly digging the second stanza. It was the most beautiful part to me of your whole poem.
Stellar.
- Aly -
this poem was amazing ... i can totaly relate to it and you know when i was younger thats exactly how i felt i wouldn't of been able to put it any better you out did yourself .. it was a pleasure reading your poem ... keep up the good work and im ganna look forward to seeing more hopefully
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i just loved this piece char- it was so heartwrenching and honest. the flow just kind of wept at me. The misery here is so evident and yet so beautiful- "I traipsed onto your territory,
invading your personal space,
shoving a frown, a scowl, a little slice of misery
into your happy, protected world" and then -"You’re the star who has lost its shine,
the ocean that has its rippling jewels stolen away,
the sky without its pale moon face grazing it,
you’re lost, lost, lost—little Bo Peep without her sheep." - i think those were your strongest stanza. This was just simply amazing. -T
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This is a poem most can relate to, myself included.
I was the lone thorn on the rose’s stem,
the sliver of moon in a jet-black sky,
the ugly duckling in a family of swans,
I was always on the outside, looking in.
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Well versed ~
I found the final stanza in this the most poetic - in the sense of vocabulary;
This is a wonderful poem of self reflection, honesty and raw emotions - You have expressed yourself well and true
Best of Luck in the Contest
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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